


Phil accidentally becomes a father - A series of short SBI Found Family stories

by CagedPuddle



Series: PABAF SBI Family AU [1]
Category: Sleepy Bois Inc, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Author just randomly writes down ideas and then writes them out terribly, Family Bonding, Family Dynamics, Family Fluff, Found Family, Gen, Not Beta Read, Other, Phil accidentally becomes a father, Piglin!Technoblade, Series of short stories that take place after each other, my writing is inconsistent so have fun, phil's strugglin' a little y'all, sleepy bois inc - Freeform, tags will be updated as I write more and add more characters, the writing gets a little better in later chapters, tommy shows up pretty late in the fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:54:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 19,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26805442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CagedPuddle/pseuds/CagedPuddle
Summary: Phil was an average man who lived an average life. He woke up every morning, got dressed, ate breakfast, and grabbed his fishing pole before fishing for the rest of the day. He was young, barely an adult, and he already had the rest of his life practically planned out. Well… at least until THAT day.-I've never posted anything on here, but I started writing these in my free-time and felt like other people might enjoy them too.So here.
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & Phil Watson, Dave | Technoblade & TommyInnit, Dave | Technoblade & Wilbur Soot, Dave | Technoblade & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Series: PABAF SBI Family AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1990255
Comments: 411
Kudos: 3076





	1. Oh Wow That's A Child

This specific day started as all other days did. Phil had gone through his usual morning routine; he even had stopped by the village marketplace to say hello to a few of the traders. He was walking down the old, worn down path that led to the lake when he stopped abruptly after hearing a faint thud off to the side. He turned towards the source of the sound and saw nothing out of the ordinary. 

Now, while most people would just give up and go home after hearing a mysterious bump in the woods, Phil had, for some unknown reason, decided to further investigate the source of the noise. Perhaps he was finally getting tired of his life being so simple. He tightened his grip on his fishing pole, sort of holding it as if it was a weapon, and cautiously made his way off the path and into the dark woods. 

The noise hadn’t sounded as if it was too far away, Phil should be getting close. He squeezed past a particularly large tree when he finally reached the source of the sound. 

The sound had come from a small clearing in the woods. It was empty… except for the dead bodies of two zombies and one small unidentifiable body sitting between them, covered in blood. Upon seeing the strange third body move slightly, Phil decided to slowly move in closer, so that he wouldn’t scare whatever it was away. When he got closer, he noticed that it’s… leg? was injured. It whimpered as it finally noticed Phil getting closer, trying to crawl away but failing due to its injury. 

The frantic, panicked movements had caused some of the zombie blood to fall off, making the small creature easier to identify. At first glance, Phil thought that the creature was just an ordinary piglet, but after looking a little closer at the terrified child, it appeared to be bipedal. Something that pigs typically are not. 

_‘Well, that… isn’t normal.’_

Phil glanced around in hopes of potentially finding any sign of the piglet’s family, but ended up seeing nothing but the vast forest that surrounded them. He looked back down at the abandoned child. He couldn’t just leave the piglet alone… that would practically be a death sentence. The poor thing couldn’t use one of its legs and, if it’s size was anything to base off, it probably struggled to walk anyway due to how small it was. It couldn’t have been very old. However, Phil was unable to tell due to a lack of knowledge of pigs.

_‘I suppose I should take it back home with me?’_

Having finally come to a decision, Phil let out a small sigh before crouching down to the piglet’s level, hoping to appear less intimidating. He put his fishing pole on the ground and raised his hands up in a form of surrender.

“I don’t want to hurt you, little one. It’s okay. I just want to get you somewhere safe.” 

The piglet continued to tremble, but seemed to have given up on running away. Phil looked the piglet up and down and noticed that the poor thing was still drenched in some of the zombie blood. He grimaced at the thought of having to carry the blood covered child. Glancing around at his surroundings once more, looking for something to cover the piglet in, Phil ended up finding nothing besides the zombies’ clothes which were still covered in blood.

With yet another sigh, Phil took off the robe he wore over his clothes and used it to cover up the blood. He carefully pulled the piglet up into his arms before slowly leaning back down to pick up his fishing rod.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this was bad. I wrote it in like 15 minutes and I'm too lazy to go back and make it better.


	2. The Missing Blanket Incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil’s daily life had changed the day that he brought that piglet home. The first couple of days had been the hardest and strangest. Phil had no idea what a malnourished, tiny, bipedal piglet needed to stay healthy. It also didn’t help that the child was still uneasy around Phil.

Phil woke up at the sound of the floorboards creaking. Slowly, as to not startle the ‘intruder’, Phil sat up and turned towards the source of the noise. There, in the doorway, stood the piglet. When their eyes met, the child squeaked and ran behind the door, peeking out to glare at Phil.

Phil chuckled; This was one of their new morning rituals. The piglet would try to sneak into Phil’s bedroom and, if Phil didn’t wake up, stare at Phil until the man woke up and gave the child some kind of food to try to eat and changed the wrapping on its leg. So far, the piglet had struggled to eat anything. The hungry child usually throws up after eating whatever Phil has given it. 

Phil is unsure of what his next course of action should be, but the logical idea would be to visit a farmer, doctor, or vet of some sort. Of course, that was easier said than done. The piglet certainly wasn’t normal and would stand out horribly due to its uniqueness. It would be hard to find someone who would be willing to keep the piglet’s existence a secret. 

Keeping his movements slow, as to not further scare the child, Phil swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up. Knowing that the piglet would not have the patience to wait for Phil to get changed out of his sleepwear, Phil walked over to the door where the piglet was hiding and made a nodding motion towards the doorway. The child made a noise similar to a snort and followed Phil towards the kitchen. 

Upon arriving in the kitchen, Phil instantly noticed something slightly off about the scene. He turned around to face the piglet. 

“Where’s your blanket?” Phil paused and looked at the child’s hands, “I’ve hardly seen you do anything without it.” Phil always felt a little silly speaking to the piglet, especially since the child had yet to ever say a word; if it even could.

The piglet broke eye contact - not an unusual occurrence - and crossed its arms before making a small noise similar to a whimper. The whimper was certainly unusual. In the few days that Phil had been living with the piglet, he had noticed that it tended to hesitate towards showing weakness or vulnerability. So for the piglet to willingly show vulnerability, there must have been something very wrong. The piglet must have lost its ‘blanket’. 

The item couldn’t be that hard to find. After all, it was just the same robe that Phil had wrapped the piglet in when he found it. Well, minus the blood, but still. It's a black robe. It couldn’t be that hard to find right?

….

Okay, Phil was very incorrect. Oh so incorrect. It had taken him THREE hours to find the old piece of cloth. It was worth it of course - the piglet refused to let Phil change its bandages or eat anything until its blanket was returned - but the search had certainly left Phil exhausted. 

He heard a soft yawn and looked up from his spot on the couch to see the piglet curled up in the corner of the room with its blanket. It appeared to be struggling to get comfortable on the hard floor. Phil sighed, even though he had promised to not hurt the piglet in any way, it was still cautious of him. So cautious that it would lay on the hard floor and do nothing but glare at the man in the room with it, even when it was dead tired. 

Not wanting the piglet to hurt itself, Phil walked over to its corner. Upon seeing the man begin to move, the piglet froze, trying to make itself very still. Despite the obvious signs of discomfort, Phil continued over to the child and crouched down to its level. 

“You don’t have to sleep on the floor ya’ know.” Phil turned his head back over to the couch, “The couch is much more comfortable, especially compared to the floor.” The man glanced down at the child again. 

The piglet said nothing - the usual reaction to being talked to - but its glare did soften slightly. 

Noticing that the piglet was not completely against the idea, Phil continued to speak., “Come on.” He reached down and picked the piglet and its blanket up, walking over to the couch and sitting down. Once he sat down, he settled the piglet in his lap and covered it with the blanket. Almost instantly, the piglet fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, not edited and most likely never will be. Hope someone likes this.


	3. Wait, That's What You Eat!?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of the Great Missing Blanket, the piglet had started to trust Phil much more. Even to the point where it would insist on sleeping in Phil’s bed. Phil, however, continues to grow concerned for the piglet’s health, as it is still not able to eat anything. Desperate for information, Phil disguises the piglet and heads off to the village library, hoping to find anything that might help him.

Sunlight shined through partially opened curtains into a small bedroom, illuminating the two occupants of the lonesome bed. The larger of the two shuffling as the sunlight hit him directly in the eyes, waking him from his peaceful slumber. 

Phil jerked his head away from the light, his eyes temporarily blinded. Slowly, to allow his eyes to adjust, he opened his eyes and with a small, tired sigh, Phil got out of his bed - hearing the piglet grunt at the loss of its giant warm pillow. Chuckling at the piglet’s unconscious behavior, Phil - still wearing his pajamas - walked into the kitchen and started to make breakfast. 

Once his breakfast was finished, Phil started to look around his kitchen for something the piglet had yet to try. This was, by far, the hardest task Phil had to do. The piglet had tried nearly all the food that Phil was capable of offering - which, admittedly, was not a very large amount - but Phil was determined to find at least one food that the piglet could eat.

After realizing that his kitchen was practically empty besides a few raw vegetables, Phil - in his infinitely wise, still-tired mindset - decided to simply place nothing but a raw potato on the piglet’s plate. No silverware, nothing. Nothing but a raw potato. Before he had a moment to actually put thought into what he had just done, the piglet came walking into the kitchen, with its beloved blanket, and sat down at the table. 

It looked up at Phil and then back down at the potato. This continued for a few moments before the piglet stopped and grabbed the potato. It glared at the vegetable before finally deciding to bite down on it. Phil, having finally noticed what was happening, ran over to the trash can sitting in the corner and brought it by the piglet’s side, preparing for the usual reaction to food consumption. 

Much to Phil’s surprise, however, the piglet ate its first bite and… didn’t throw up. In fact it made a small happy noise and continued eating, completely ignoring the astonished look on Phil’s face. 

“Oh my god.” said Phil as he could not believe that he had finally found a food that the piglet could eat. “You eat potatoes…”

The piglet turned away from its food to look at Phil with a confused expression. Wondering why the man was acting so strange, but eventually it turned back to its food and continued to eat.

Phil, whose initial surprise had begun to wear off, suddenly snapped into action running into his bedroom and digging through the bottom of his dresser. 

“I’ve been putting it off for too long, I need to do some research on this kid.” He mumbled to himself as he shifted through his clothes. “But I can’t just leave ‘em here…” He cut himself off as he held up an old pair of overalls; they appeared to have been around the size of the piglet. He mentally face-palmed. He had clothes that would fit the piglet and he had not once thought to dress the kid. Leaving the piglet to walk around with nothing but an old robe it used as a blanket. 

Shaking his head, Phil walked back into the kitchen with the clothes. There he found the piglet still sitting at the kitchen table, its potato completely gone. He sat down in a nearby chair and opened his mouth to begin a conversation when he realized that he didn’t even know the piglet’s name.

“I just realized that I don’t know your name… Do you have a name?” 

The piglet stared at Phil shaking its head ‘no’.

“You don’t have a name…” Phil scratched the top of his head, he definitely needed a shower soon, “Guess we should fix that?” 

The piglet, who is usually not very emotional, perked up at the suggestion of a name. It jumped out of the chair and ran around the room, collecting boxes and papers that had various words on them. It set them all down on the table and began to shuffle through them. Phil, having initially been confused, finally figured out what the piglet was doing.

“Oh! Yeah, guess it would be pretty hard to name yourself if you couldn’t write or talk…”

The piglet let out an amused snort but continued to arrange the items. When it was finally done it tapped the table with its hooves excitedly, trying to get Phil to look at what it had done. Phil, chuckling at the piglet’s adorable behavior, got out of his chair and walked behind the piglet’s. 

“Alright, alright. I’m here. Show me what you got.”

The piglet tapped a ‘T’ on a cereal box.

“T?”

It then tapped an ‘E’ on a flyer from the village.

“E.”

Then it tapped a ‘CH’ on a newspaper article.

“CH.”

Finally, it tapped the word ‘NO’ on an advertisement.

“NO.” 

The piglet turned around to look at Phil, expectantly. “T. E. CH. NO. Techno? Is that what you want to be called?” The piglet nodded rapidly. “Alright well, that makes things a little easier…” Phil’s eyes roamed to the abandoned clothes sitting on the table. “Oh, here.” He pulled the clothes over to Techno. “I found some clothes for you while you were eating. Thought you might appreciate them for when we go to the library.” 

Techno’s eyes widened at the mention of the ‘library’, not surprising since neither Phil nor Techno had left the house since Techno was found. Techno grabbed the clothes, a pair of red overalls and a small white shirt, and fumbled with them for a minute due to his lack of fingers. 

Phil walked over to a drawer and pulled out a pair of scissors, just in case adjustments needed to be made. 

\---

Surprisingly, the clothes didn’t require much changing, just a hole in the back of the overalls to make room for Techno’s tail.  
Phil hastily got dressed, not wanting to waste any more of the daylight. He checked his pocket’s for his house key and turned to grab Techno when he remembered that Techno couldn’t just go outside looking… well the way Techno looks. Walking into the village with a bipedal pig would definitely attract attention, both nice and not so nice. 

Searching his brain for an idea, Phil suddenly remembered that Techno’s blanket was a robe. He could just cover the kid in the robe and no one would be able to tell that Techno was different. 

Wrapping Techno in the blanket, Phil walked out the door and towards the direction of the village.

\--- (I’m not writing about Phil going to the library to pick out books, just know that he picks out a few about pigs and then one about supernatural creatures. Also Techno almost gets discovered, but it's okay.) ---

Sitting down on his couch after stressing at the library, Phil had read through all the books he found. What exactly did he learn? Well, it turns out that Techno is a creature called a piglin. Some sort of pig-like creature that is supposed to only survive in the nether. Another thing to add to the list of reasons why Techno is strange. 

Phil had decided to take notes from his reading, so that he wouldn’t have to keep renting out the books.

\- _Pigs are able to eat potatoes, carrots, and beetroot. Piglins have a meat based diet, but Techno has not shown any signs of preferring meat. Make sure to buy potatoes, carrots, and beetroot so that Techno can eat._  
\- _Young piglins are taught sword fighting at a young age. Get Techno a training sword, his instincts will appreciate it later on._  
\- _Piglins are extremely obsessed with gold. Older piglins are known to get violent around humans who are not covered in some sort of gold. Invest in gold armor???_  
\- _Piglins are adapted to extremely warm temperatures, Techno is not going to enjoy the winter season. Buy him some new warmer clothes._  
\- _Piglins are from the nether and therefore, don’t have experience with water and don’t have swimming instincts. Be prepared to invest a lot of time in teaching Techno how to swim._

Phil could handle most of these. It won’t be an easy task, but not impossible. The main problem is the last three notes that Phil wrote down. He wrote them as detailed and accurate to the original text as he could, so that he wouldn’t miss anything.

\- _Piglins are used to living in large groups, despite their normal aversion to interaction with each other. This tends to become less important as they age, but during childhood, it is really important. Since piglins are born in litters, they are used to being surrounded by their littermates. This is extremely important to their development as they learn many of their survival and social skills by interacting with their littermates._  
\- _Piglins have been observed being able to read and eventually speak human languages. Adults are unable to learn, however, the children are. The main issue being that the young piglins are only willing to talk to/learn from human children._  
\- _Piglin parents are quite active in the lives of their children. They can often be seen supervising their children as they play or train. However, the parents do not train their children. Instead, they provide the basics and then pit their children against each other in a friendly competition._

There are… a couple of problems here. One being that the only other person that Techno has interacted with is Phil. Another one being that, since Phil has essentially taken on the role of Techno’s dad, it means that Phil might encounter some issues with the ‘Piglin parenting system’. Ya’ know, because there are no other children in the house?! Not to mention the fact that apparently piglin children can learn human language, but will only willingly learn it when taught by a human child?!

Obviously Techno learned some English before Phil found him, but he can only read and understand it. He has sort of wrote his name, but that doesn’t really help when he has no hands to hold a pencil with. 

Phil put his head in his hands as he sighed. This wasn’t going to be easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy my attempt at giving Piglins more lore, lol. Also I think this is the longest chapter? Nice.


	4. Origin of the Crown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After finally finding out what Techno was, Phil decides to buy a sword so that he can start training Techno. While at the market, which was celebrating the trading festival, Phil loses Techno and Techno learns he hates crowds and makes a friend.

The sun was shining, birds were chirping, people were talking. Everything seemed so normal, relaxed. Everything, except Techno. For he was currently in the middle of a giant crowd of humans, desperately trying to find Phil. 

Apparently, today was some big trading festival, not that Techno really cared. He wasn’t even allowed to show his face to the villagers, forced to cover himself with his blanket like a cloak. The only reason Phil had brought him was so that they could go sword shopping, which Techno was very interested in doing. The problem being that they had gotten split up not long after they arrived.

People surrounded him on all sides. Bumping and pushing each other as they rushed to the various stands to browse the traders’ goods. Techno’s breathing became unsteady, panic settling in as he realized that he was alone despite being surrounded by humans. He’d only known Phil for a few days, but he’d already become so dependent. Dependency wasn’t something he had experienced before he met Phil… Phil made Techno feel comfortable. Phil was safety. Phil was his… dad. The suffocating crowds of the village made Techno miss his dad. As his thoughts lingered on Phil, tears began to stream down his face. 

Forcefully pushing his way through the crowd, Techno tried to get away from all the people. The crowds. Strangers. Danger. He glanced around looking for someplace secluded, preferably dark, to hide in. Trader stands were off limits, too many people, too much noise. Hay bales? Too open. Bushes? No, too green. Green is the color of Phil’s favorite outfit. Green reminds Techno of Phil. 

Tears still silently dripping onto the ground, Techno - having run out of ideas of places - ran to the darkness provided by a damp alleyway. His hooves made clacking noises as he stumbled into the alley, the noise echoed as it bounced off the walls. He threw himself onto the ground and curled up in a ball, snuggling up with his cloak. His cloak… that was originally from Phil. Techno sniffled as he wiped his eyes with his sleeves, the fabric almost becoming completely soaked from only one touch. Techno was still silently crying to himself, hoping Phil would magically find him, when he heard a young voice. 

“Hey, uhh. Are-are you okay?”

Techno looked up and was met with the very close face of a young boy. Said young boy had curly brown hair and matching brown eyes. His clothes and face were covered in a layer of dirt and grime. His ears ended in a perky little point. His voice had a layer of slightly confused concern-

“Uhh… hello? Are you there?” The boy waved a hand in front of Techno’s tear stained face, trying to get the piglin’s attention. Techno responded with a soft snort, not being able to respond in any other way. Despite the extremely basic response, dirt boy appeared to be pleased with it. His concerned frown grew into a small smile, his eyes warm. 

“Hi,” Dirt boy said softly, “You looked like you were having a bad time, thought I’d try to help…” He glanced around at the dark alley, as if looking for something, “I’m not sure how I was going to do that,” He turned back to Techno, “but I’m here now, so I’ll do whatever it takes to make you feel better!”

This boy was amusing, endearing. Just his determination to make Techno feel better had, well, made Techno feel better. Techno let out an amused snort. The noise had caught the boy’s attention as he continued to stare at Techno, eyes slightly squinted. Dirt boy gasped.

“Wait! You’re strange too?!” The boy grabbed his own ears, tugging on them. “Look! Look at my ears! Aren't they weird?” He quickly let go of his ears and grabbed Techno’s hoof, running his fingers up and down. 

“Woah…” His voice sounded amazed, “You’re a pig? Right?” Techno, a little overwhelmed by dirt boy’s behavior, slowly nodded ‘yes’. The boy’s eyes practically became stars, “We can be strange together!” Dirt boy surged forward and wrapped Techno in a hug, squeezing tight.

Techno froze, not quite sure how to respond - his experience with touch was very limited. Dirt boy didn’t seem to care as he continued to hug Techno. Though, as the hug carried on, Techno became more comfortable, for a moment he was able to forget about the sadness, instead focusing on the comfort that this dirt-covered boy brought. The feeling didn’t last long before the boy pulled away and continued speaking, 

“Oh, sorry. Probably should’ve asked before I hugged you…” The boy fiddled with his hands, his hair covering his eyes, “I-I’ve just never met someone who also stands out…” Tears gathered in the corner of his eyes. Techno reached a hoof out to rest on dirt boy’s shoulder, trying his best to be comforting to his new friend. “The other kids at the Orphanage would always pull my ears and call me names.” He gave a cruel sounding laugh, “Guess that's why I left…”

The boy huffed, then stood up and turned towards the exit. “I’ll be right back, stay here.” And with that the boy ran out into the crowds of people, leaving Techno alone with his thoughts in the darkness once again.

Dirt boy was nice, Techno had decided. Dirt boy had been willing to help make Techno feel better, even though he had no plan. Dirt boy was also young, at least a few years younger than Techno. He’d apparently been through some rough times, but still had managed to not let it destroy him completely. Dirt boy was not Phil, but he certainly was a human who could be trusted-

“Hey!” Techno snapped out of his thoughts, “You sure do space out a lot, y’know?” Dirt boy said as he placed a bag in front of Techno. He undid the knot holding the bag together and spread it out like a blanket, showing off its contents. It had been filled with various objects varying from a bundle of flowers loosely tied together to a sparkling, gold crown. Techno’s eyes widened, focusing in on the golden headwear. 

Dirt boy shifted through the items, making sure that nothing was overlapping. He put his hands on his hips and looked at Techno with a proud grin on his face. “Since we're practically ‘strange bros’ now,” He flicked one of his ears, “I think you deserve to have one of my treasures!” He looked around before leaning towards Techno with a hand partially covering his mouth. “Just between you and me,” His eyes shifted back and forth. “I actually stole all this stuff from my old village.”

Dirt boy laughed, “They used to call me Wilbur, the Dirty Crime Boy!” He gestured towards his collection of items. “I’d take whatever I could get my hands on and no one ever caught me!” Suddenly, Wilbur’s face turned sad, almost regretful. “I… I sort of miss that place…” He sniffled, wiping his eyes. He quickly shook himself, the smile returning to his face. “That doesn’t matter! Especially since I have you now!” He looked down at his things, eyeing each of them. His dirt covered hands reached for the crown and he shoved it towards Techno. “Here! This is yours now! It's a sign of our friendship.” Wilbur watched as Techno slowly lowered his hood and replaced it with the crown. 

As soon as his hooves left the metal, the crown slid down over his eyes, blinding him. Techno could hear Wilbur giggling at him. Techno snorted at his friend’s rude behavior, lifting a hoof to tilt the crown so he could actually see. When he was able to see, all he saw was Wilbur rolling around on the damp ground, laughing. Techno rolled his eyes. Despite his outward reactions… Techno really likes Wilbur. Techno wanted Wilbur to stay with him… Would Phil let Wilbur stay with them?

Techno didn’t really care, Wilbur was coming home with him, whether or not Phil agreed. After all, Wilbur had called them ‘Strange bros’ didn’t that practically make them littermates? Wilbur had even given him a gift, too. A sign of a… bond of sorts? Whatever, all that mattered was that Techno liked Wilbur and Wilbur was nice and needed a place to stay. 

Techno reached out a hoof and tapped Wilbur and pointed towards the rest of his things. Techno made a wrapping motion with his hooves, trying to get Wilbur to pack his things up. Wilbur appeared to have caught on, “Oh, yeah. Can’t leave my stuff lying around like that.” He started to gather his things together. 

Adjusting his crown, Techno carefully raised his cloak’s hood over it, to hide his piglin features. He stood up and dusted Wilbur’s dirt off his overalls. Turning towards the entrance of the alley, Techno checked to see how many people there were. The crowds had certainly cleared up a bit… if they left now, they might be able to find- PHIL! Techno recognized that green hat! He turned around and grabbed Wilbur’s arm, who began to protest, and ran in the direction of the green clad man.

Maybe the marketplace wasn’t that bad after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Techno: *get comforted by Wilbur after getting lost*
> 
> Techno: ...
> 
> Techno: This is mine now *Grabs Wilbur*
> 
> Phil: I-... okay fine.
> 
> \-----  
> Ok, this is definitely the longest chapter I've written now. 
> 
> Also this is the first chapter that I actually (sort of, maybe, perhaps) edited. The original was much shorter (and made much less sense). Don't expect that to be a thing I do often, tho.


	5. Bonk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wilbur does some whining and complaining and pays the price. Oh and something else happens too I guess.

“Teeechnooo.” Wilbur whined from his spot on the ground. “Why can’t you just let me wiiiiiinnnnn.” 

Techno snorted at his brother’s behavior and reached a hoof down to help Wilbur up. 

Phil spoke up from where he was standing nearby, “You won’t learn if he just lets you win, Wilbur. If you want to win, you need to improve.” Wilbur huffed and crossed his arms. He mumbled, “Why does it matter if I get better, the only reason we train is because Techno likes it...” 

Phil, apparently choosing that moment to have amazing hearing, heard what Wilbur said. “You need to improve because a zombie won’t care how good or bad you are. A zombie will just try to eat you, kiddo.” He put a hand on Wilbur’s shoulder. “I couldn’t stand losing either of you… You’re my boys.” Phil ruffled Wilbur’s hair, dirt flying everywhere, much to the disdain of Wilbur.

“Ugh! Dad, stop! You’re getting my dirt everywhere.”

“This wouldn’t be a problem if you would just take a bath, Wilbur.” He pointed to Techno, “Even Techno takes baths and he hates water!”

Techno nodded, he really hated water, it was always too cold for his tastes.

“B-But if I took a bath, how would I commit dirty crime? It just wouldn’t be the same...” Wilbur dramatically flinged an arm over his eyes pushing Phil’s hand away with his other hand. 

“Wil we’ve talked about this, you can’t commit crime anymore. If you want something, just tell me.” 

Wilbur huffed, “What’s the fun in that?” He turned to Techno, “You agree with me that crime is fun, right Techno?”

Phil looked over at his other son, waiting to see what the quiet child would respond with. He watched as Techno walked over to Wilbur, raised his training sword… and hit Wilbur over the head with it.

“Jesus, Techno! No! Don’t hit your brother!” Phil ran over and pushed himself between the boys, looking down to check Wilbur for any injuries. He seemed fine, just a little stunned. It’s a good thing that Phil bought wooden training swords instead of actual weapons.

“What the fuck, Techno?!” Wilbur shouted as he held his head.

“Language, Wil. You are literally a child, that word is not appropriate even if he hurt your head.” Phil scolded lightly. 

“Hypocrite.” Wilbur mumbled.

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that, since there’s a more important thing to deal with.” Phil turned to Techno. “Care to explain why you thought hitting Wil was a good idea?”

Techno stared at Phil. Phil stared back. Techno’s face warped into a look that said ‘seriously’. Phil didn’t give in. “Wilbur’s been trying to teach you to talk, but ya’ keep refusing, Techno. That’s hardly my fault. You don’t even make an attempt when I try teaching you.” Phil crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for Techno to find some way to give a valid answer. 

Techno could be very stubborn when he wanted to be, but if there was one thing he struggled against the most… It was a Phil staredown. Phil had a way of making you feel extremely guilty about even the smallest of things, it's why Wilbur always averted his eyes when he was in trouble. All it took was a few seconds of eye contact and you would crack.

So Techno decided to maintain eye contact, despite knowing the consequences, but instead of returning the stare stoically, Techno chose to do something… different. He opened his mouth and finally uttered his first words to his family, “Muh just wanted mor’ trainin’.” He mumbled - in a voice way too deep for a young boy, must be some sort of piglin thing. He made a vague gesture towards the messy homemade training area, “Too much talkin’, mor’ hittin’.”

Phil stared, stunned. He had expected the usual game of charades that Techno made everyone play when trying to communicate, but… to instead get an actual verbal response? Well, Phil didn’t know what to do. He had fully expected Techno to just remain mute for the rest of their lives…

Wilbur, on the other hand, collapsed on the ground, laughing. The pain in his head was forgotten that easily. Phil, having been snapped out of his stunned state by Wilbur’s laughter, picked up the boy and made him stand up. While attempting and failing to dust off Wilbur's clothes, which were always dirty due to Wilbur’s stance about bath taking and cleaning, Phil scolded his dirt-covered son. “Come on now, Wil. Don’t laugh at the poor boy.” 

Wilbur, ignoring his father, kept laughing. “H-how could I not laugh?” He gestured towards Techno, “We’ve been trying to get him to talk and when he finally does all he says is,” Wilbur forced his voice to sound deeper. “‘Too much talking, more hitting’.” He hunched over, hands on his knees, still laughing. 

Phil and Techno made eye contact. Techno raised his training sword up and briefly glanced at Wilbur and back at Phil. Phil sighed and nodded. Techno approached Wilbur…

*BONK*

Wilbur’s laughter turned to angry screeching while Techno’s quiet chuckle could be heard in the background. 

… Phil loved his boys... even if they didn't always behave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonk. 
> 
> \---
> 
> I wrote most of this at school today, so don't expect it to be a piece of literary art. Actually, don't ever expect anything I post to be good. It's all a mess.


	6. A Change in Bedtime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil decides to be a responsible father and makes the decision to sign Wilbur up to go to the village school. Wilbur is… less than pleased, but not for the normal reasons a child might be upset about school.

“Alright boys! Time for bed!”

Wilbur gasped, the pink crayon in his hand falling to the ground, “What!? It's not even close to bedtime!” Techno turned towards Phil a suspicious look on his face, “Yeh. ‘s early.”

Phil just brushed off his sons’ suspicion, shrugging, “I let you two go to bed at a time that most parents wouldn’t even consider.” He crossed his arms, “It’s a bad habit that I’ve let you guys develop and it needs to be changed.”

Techno wasn’t convinced that was the only reason, “‘hy now t’ough?”

Phil looked a little confused… but he sighed with a fond smile, “Wil, could you please translate that? I’m still... learning how his accent works.”

Wilbur slammed his hands on the floor where he was sitting, having understood Techno perfectly. “He said, ‘Why now though?’!” He made eye contact with Phil, “I would also like to hear the answer to that, DAD!” He pointed an accusatory finger towards his father. Techno looked grateful for the translation.

“‘Tanks ‘Bur.” “No problemo, Techie.”

Phil sighed at his kids, not wanting to share the reason, but knowing that Wilbur and Techno would definitely find out on their own. Smart boys that they are. He had wanted to share this in the morning during breakfast, but apparently the boys wanted to know now.

He sat down on the floor with them. “Alright. You two want to know the real reason?” They both nodded. “The real reason I changed bedtime… was because I signed Wilbur up to go to the village school.”

Wilbur’s eyes widened and his face drooped a little, “S-school? With, like, other kids?” He fiddled with his hair, subconsciously covering his ears with it, “I-I dunno if that's a good idea, Dad…” His body kept shuffling around, unable to stand still. Wilbur jumped when he felt a cold touch on his arm, his shuffling temporarily stopped. He looked over to see that it was Techno’s hoof, obviously an attempt at comfort, despite Techno’s trouble with emotions. Wilbur smiled, school might not be so bad if he had his brother with him. Techno was already a little intimidating without even trying, but once people saw his skill with a sword… well, they’d probably leave Wilbur alone, right?

He looked back at Phil. “I guess school might not be that bad… as long as I have Techno with me.” He smiled at his brother, “He could just scare all the bullies away!” Wilbur laughed, pulling his older brother in for a hug. Techno, as usual, froze at the contact, but gave a small chuckle.

Phil, however, winced. This was bad… How was he going to tell Wilbur that Techno wouldn’t be able to go to school with him? He thought it was obvious that Techno couldn’t go… Techno was hardly even allowed to leave the house.

“Wil…” Phil’s voice broke through the laughter. Wilbur’s face fell once again at the mere tone of Phil’s voice. “W-what’s wrong, Dad?”

“Wil, Techno can’t go to school with you… He has to stay here.”

“N-NO!” He clung onto Techno even harder, as if the young piglin would disappear any minute. “Why can’t he come with me?! I need him to keep the other kids from picking on me!” He said, aggressively nuzzling his face into Techno’s blanket-cloak. 

Phil reached out a hand towards Wilbur, “Wilbur, listen… I know you’re scared of people thinking your ears are weird, but think about how they might treat Techno?” He put his other hand on Techno’s head, removing the crown that sat there. “Techno can’t hide his piglin features as easily as you can hide your ears.” He gently massaged one of Techno’s ears, causing Techno to subconsciously lean closer to the touch. 

“I don’t want either of you being bullied, but if the village found out that you weren’t going to school… They might come here and if they find Techno?.. I can’t guarantee that their reaction will be positive.” He sighed, “Piglins are often considered to be… hostile. They wouldn’t care that Techno has only ever used his abilities to defend. All they would see is a hostile creature…” Tears threatened to fall down his face. He paused to take a deep breath, his boys needed him to be strong. There would be time for crying later. 

He may not have had his boys for very long, but he couldn’t imagine not having them in his life now. He’d fight for them if he had to, but desperately wanted his sons to just be safe. He wished that Techno could go to school with Wilbur, or even just feel free to walk around the village without fear of discovery, but that was just wishful thinking. 

“Dad? I-I’ll go, but only for Techno. Who knows… maybe I’ll even enjoy it?” Wilbur had separated his face from Techno just enough to make his voice heard. Phil smiled; Wilbur might be mischievous and often has random items - that he definitely stole from somewhere, but at this point Phil is a little scared to ask where - on him, but he is still just boy who obviously cares about his family.

“Thank you, Wil.” Phil stood up, reaching down for the brown haired boy, “Come on, let’s get to bed now yeah? All these emotions have to of tired you two out.” He reached his empty hand towards Techno, who grabbed on to it to the best of his ability.

… Phil just wanted to be a good father. He never expected it to be so hard, so stressful...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not important, but Wilbur was holding a pink crayon because he was drawing a picture of him, Phil, & Techno all holding hands.
> 
> (also whoops its a little sad. didnt mean to do that it just happened. the words started flowin and i just went with it. hopefully the next one is happier)
> 
> \---  
> The google document for this fic is 20+ pages, y'all. It lags so bad. (its also written in the permanent marker font but that's not important).
> 
> Also thanks to tumblr user [Wooteena](https://wooteena.tumblr.com/post/631326918914998272/phil-accidentally-becomes-a-father-a-series-of) for posting about my fic, very cool of you :) Literally made my day!


	7. Growin' Pains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A pleasant afternoon dinner is interrupted when Techno starts complain’ about mouth pain.

A warm light shone out the window of a cozy house surrounded by trees on all sides, a small dirt path connecting it to a village. Inside sat three figures at a table, one bigger than the others. They appeared to be engaging in a lively conversation with one of the smaller ones making wide gestures with its hands. 

“-and today we got to pick out an instrument we want to learn to play! They all looked so cool, but I chose the guitar!” Wilbur paused, taking a moment to put a spoonful of mushroom soup in his mouth.

“That sounds wonderful, Wil. I hope you enjoy learning to play it.” Phil said as he gazed at his youngest son. “You’ll have to see if they let you keep it. Maybe you could play a song for us.”

Wilbur’s eyes lit up, “Ooo! That sounds like such a fun id-” “Heeeh!”

Phil and Wilbur looked over at the source of the noise: Techno. The piglin was holding his jaw with both hooves, his baked potato: untouched. Very strange, especially since Techno absolutely loves potatoes. 

“Techno? You okay, kiddo?” Phil asked, with a worried tone. 

“I ‘ust ‘anted to eat the potato, but all it gave meh wasss paaaaaiiiinnnn…” He rubbed his jaw, “Mah mouth s’been hurtin’ all day, Dad. I’d hoped it ‘ould sstop by now…” Techno made a low whining noise.

Phil’s face became concerned; Techno had been in pain ALL day? Why hadn’t he said anything? Phil stood up and walked around the table over to where Techno was sitting. He gently removed Techno’s hooves from his face and replaced them with his own hands. 

“Can you tell me where exactly the pain is?” Phil asked with a soft voice. 

“Bottom front s’wheress most of the pain isss.” He opened his mouth to let Phil get a better look. 

The top teeth all looked normal, a little crooked in some places but otherwise fine. The bottom teeth, however, were definitely different. To start, there were less of them with two of them being significantly bigger and sharper than the rest. The gums surrounding the bigger teeth looked extremely irritated and appeared to have been bleeding recently. 

“Ah. Yeah, I see the problem.” Phil moved his hands off Techno’s face down to his shoulders. “It’s nothing too serious. Your tusks are just growing in.”

Wilbur perked up, “Techno’s growing tusks? That’s so cool!” 

“It sssure doessn’t feel ssso ccool…” Techno mumbled while slouching down in his seat a little. 

Phil gave a small chuckle at Techno’s complaining, “It’s not going to feel so ‘cool’ but once it’s over you won’t have to worry about it again.” He patted Techno’s shoulder, “It’s all a part of growing up.”

He stepped back, “Now, do you need me to mash your potato up? So it's easier on your gums?”

Techno nodded, a little sad - biting into potatoes was one of his favorite parts about eating them, but a potato is a potato - all that matters is that he eats.

Growing up sure does hurt...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I write about Techno having mouth pain because of his tusks growing in as a way to vent about my wisdom teeth causing me pain? Perhaps...
> 
> (also sorry that this is a little short, didn't feel like adding too much this time)
> 
> \---
> 
> Side note but some of Techno's english problems are loosely based on my lisp (and his own accent where he drops the -g in -ing words). I kinda struggle with -s, -c, -z, -sh, and -ch noises (I drag them out wayyy to long) and I tend to stutter my w's (so sometimes I just drop them instead), though I have gotten better with the w's. If anyone was interested in how I decided to write his speaking patterns.


	8. Technomad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Technomad A.K.A Wilbur watches as Techno gets a taste of some more violent... instincts and the impulses that come with them.

“TEEEEECHHNOOO? Are you out here?” Wilbur fiddled with the hem of his shirt, scared. “Dad’s going to be sooo mad…” He mumbled.

It was true, Phil had left the boys at home for just a few minutes and somehow Techno had managed to disappear without Wilbur knowing. Assuming that Techno had gone out back to train in the woods, Wilbur had gone looking for him - hoping to find him before Phil got home - but all that had done was cause Wilbur to get lost. It didn’t help that it was dark outside and Wilbur, despite having lived on the streets for a while, didn’t have much experience with the monsters that roamed the night. He’d been lucky enough to always find shelter in a nearby village before night fell.

Now though, he was outside, in the dark, with no weapon: alone. Phil wasn’t here to hold his hand; Techno wasn’t here to scare things away. It was just Wilbur and the darkness. There was a reason that Phil was against nighttime sword training; Techno had gotten in trouble for it multiple times. The night was when monsters were free to roam under the cover of the shadows. Where they thrived.

Wilbur glanced around, hardly able to see just a few feet in front of himself, desperately trying to find his brother. He cupped his hands in front of his mouth, “TEECCHHNOO? Please come out! I’m scared!” His hands fell down to his sides, clutching his shirt, as he listened for any sound that could be Techno. A rustling noise could be heard to his left. He turned towards it, hoping that it was his brother, only to be disappointed and terrified when he found a zombie instead.

Stunned by his fear, Wilbur froze: unable to run away. The rotting corpse stumbled forward, closer to Wilbur. Hungry. Disgusting gurgles and grumbles leaving its mouth. He could just barely see the thing as it walked towards him, the only visible part being a splash of yellow in one of its hands.

A growl from behind him broke Wilbur out of his frozen trance. He just barely turned his head before a pink and black blur ran past him, towards the zombie. The new figure plunged a wooden sword through the stomach of the walking corpse and just as quickly ripped it out, watching as the zombie fell to the ground: Dead. The figure reached down and examined the body, looking for something.

“...Techno?” Wilbur took a small step towards the figure, “Techie is that you?”

The figure abandoned its task, turning towards Wilbur. It was definitely Techno, Wilbur could identify Dad’s old robe hanging off Techno’s shoulders. Techno, however, didn’t seem pleased to see Wilbur, as he began to growl. 

Wilbur put his hands out in front of himself, “Uhh… Techno? It’s just me. Wilbur? Your little brother?” The growls got louder. Wilbur’s eyes widened.

“Ccro’n” 

“C-crown?”

Techno curtly nodded and went back to searching the corpse, completely ignoring Wilbur. The disgusting noises caused by Techno’s scavenging were the only sounds that could be heard in the silence of the dark. Wilbur inched closer to Techno trying to see what Techno was looking for. 

“Heeeh!” Wilbur jumped - that was definitely a more… Techno-like noise, definitely better than the growling.

The piglin held up a zombie blood-covered crown, eyes completely focused on the golden object. Wilbur, hoping that the crown’s return had brought his brother back to a right state of mind, reached out to touch Techno’s shoulder. Wilbur realized his mistake too late, as he was swiftly pinned to the ground, the tip of a wooden sword poking his chin, a defensive look in Techno’s eyes; the growling had returned.

A gasp slipped from Wilbur’s lips as he stared at his brother with wide eyes. This was nothing like when they practiced, that was just play-fighting. No, looking into Techno’s eyes, he saw genuine anger, rage. Wilbur silently pleaded that Techno could break through whatever had him so enraged. Tears slowly falling down his cheeks. Wilbur was scared.

Anticipating Techno to make another move, Wilbur closed his eyes and laid still, but… nothing happened. He slowly opened his eyes to see the sword had moved off to the side a bit. Techno’s eyes had gone wide, “‘Bur?” He stumbled backwards, his sword and crown falling out of his grip. “‘Hatss ‘rong ‘ith me…” Techno brought his hooves over his eyes. 

Wilbur scrambled up off the ground - drying his tears - and rushed over to Techno, grabbing his arms. “Hey! Hey… It’s alright. I’m alright.” He held his arms out, making himself easier to see, “See? No bruises, no scratches, no blood.” Techno looked Wilbur up and down, still feeling guilty for having attempted to hurt him.

Wilbur grabbed Techno’s hoof and his things, “Come on, we need to get home before Dad does. Maybe he knows what happened.”

\--

“Boys! I’m back!” Phil shouted as he took off his hat and hung it on a nearby coat rack. “Sorry for taking so long, the village meeting took longer than expected-” He stopped mid-sentence when he saw the nervous looks on his sons’ faces.

“Uh, did… something happen?”

Wilbur shuffled back and forth on his feet. It was times like these where he wished that Techno was at least a little better at speaking. 

“Dad… Techno had a… moment…”

… That’s a sentence that Phil never wanted to hear...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phil (externally): Don't worry we'll work things out.
> 
> Phil (internally): OH GOD OH FUCK-
> 
> \---
> 
> More piglin lore cuz I feel like it:
> 
> \- The first 'gold rage' that a piglin experiences is always the worst. During these times, surrounding piglins will distance themselves as far as they can to avoid the rampaging youngling. The violent instinct never goes away, but it definitely mellows out as the piglin reaches adulthood.  
> \- Piglin parents/littermates have also been observed gifting the post-rage piglin with some sort of gold armor. This appears to have a calming effect on the youngling for a long as the gold object is in their possession. In longer studies, the younglings have been sighted with the golden gift from their parent/littermate well into adulthood. The calming effect still present as these piglins didn't even notice when large amounts of gold was taken from right in front of them, which piglins who had no gold armor became violent at the sight of.
> 
> (Edit: For those of you who might be wondering, his crown is his calming object btw)


	9. Swords, Scars, Duels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil’s been spending most of his nights at village meetings, trying to get on the good side of the village. This leaves the boys home alone often. What happens when Wilbur gets an idea? Well… the results may vary.

Phil sat in bed, his hand lightly brushing through Wilbur’s hair, the young boy nuzzling towards the touch before cuddling closer to Techno’s side. The cloak covering both boys sliding down due to the movement. Fixing the cloak, Phil turned his attention towards Techno, the young piglin clutching at Wilbur. He softly touched his ears, knowing that Techno secretly loved having them massaged. The boy made a soft whine before leaning back into the cuddle. 

Phil quietly chuckled, the boys were always so unashamedly affectionate early in the morning. Wilbur never really stopped, but Techno definitely became more cautious of touch when awake. It made it all the more sweet to wake up every morning to see them clinging onto each other. Of course, they couldn’t all share a bed for much longer, his boys are still growing after all, but Phil may have been delaying cleaning out his spare room just so he could continue to see them every morning.

Slowly getting out of bed, as to not wake up the kids, Phil began to get ready for the day. His clothes the same as they always were, his hair a barely tamed mess. He walked out of the room, closing the door behind himself. He entered the living room and retrieved his hat off the coat rack. Grabbing a book off the nearby shelf, he sat down on the couch. Wilbur didn’t have school today, so there was no reason for Phil to disturb their sleep. He’d just wait until they woke themselves up… Hopefully they’d wake up soon, He wanted to be able to spend time with them before he’d have to leave.

\---

Wilbur put down his green crayon and sat up from his position on the ground; His movement disrupting Techno who was leaning over his shoulder, watching. 

“Dad? Are you leaving again?” He quietly asked Phil as he watched the man tie his boots’ laces. 

Phil sighed, “Yeah, sorry boys. Wish I could stay and play longer, but I gotta stay on the good side of the village’s opinion.” He stood up. “Y’know… so they trust me.”

“But you’ve been going every week! Shouldn’t they trust you enough by now!?” Wilbur nudged Techno with his elbow, “I’m right, right?”

Techno nodded, “Yeh. Ssshouldn’t they trussst you? You go almossst ev’ry night…” He fiddled with his cloak, keeping his hooves busy.

Phil walked over to the boys, crouching down to their level. “I know and I don’t particularly like leaving you two home, but… If I can get the village to trust me and my judgment… maybe they’ll accept Techno?” He stood back up and straightened out his clothes. “I just want both my boys to be free to leave the house. Even if it means I have to miss a few hours of sleep.”

He approached the door, opening it slightly while adjusting his hat. “You two be good while I’m gone, alright?” He turned to walk out the door, but was stopped by a tugging on his pants. 

“Dad? I… drew this for you.” Wilbur handed Phil a piece of paper. “Techno wanted to help but… y’know, he doesn’t really have hands.” Techno could be heard clapping his hooves together - demonstrating his lack of hands, a clacking noise sounding out. 

Phil accepted the paper. On it was a crudely drawn green figure with a familiar looking hat that had two small figures on either side, one pink and the other, yellow. Phil smiled, this was obviously a picture of their little family, he’d have to hang it up somewhere when he got back.

“Thank you, Wil.” He ruffled the boy’s hair, “I’ll have to find somewhere to hang it tomorrow.” With that, he walked out the door, leaving Wilbur and Techno alone.

They sat in silence as Wilbur stared at the door. Until, Techno broke the silence with a question, “‘hat are ‘e goin’ to do tonight?”

“I have a great idea.”

\---

“Thisss isss a terrible idea, ‘Bur.” Techno said as he adjusted his cloak’s hood for the hundredth time.

“What? No, I told you. This kid thinks he’s the greatest sword fighter in the village; He needs to be proven wrong!” He pointed at Techno, “I know for sure that YOU are the best sword fighter! You gotta fight him.”

Techno gestured towards himself. “I dunno if you’ve noticced but… I’M NOT HUMAN?!!? People tend to not reacct very niccely towardss non-humanss, ‘Bur...”

Wilbur waved off Techno’s worries, “Don’t wooorrry, Techie. The only people that will be there are my classmates. You won’t even have to talk to them, I’ll do the talking.” He handed Techno his training sword.

“Here, take your sword. You’ve got a fight to win.” He said pulling Techno out into the clearing in the woods where the other children were waiting. 

Upon their arrival, a boy in a green hoodie looked over at the new arrivals, a white mask covering his face. “Wilbur! Guess you decided to come after all?” He looked behind Wilbur at the hooded figure. “And… you brought a friend?” 

Wilbur, excited to finally be able to show off his brother to someone, gestured towards Techno with a wide grin on his face, “This is my older brother, Techno!”

The masked boy only looked confused, “You have a brother? I’ve only ever seen Mister Phil drop you off at school. How come I’ve never seen him?”

Wilbur turned back to Techno nodding at him. Raising his arms, and revealing his hooves, Techno grabbed his hood and slowly pulled it down, revealing his piglin features. All around him, he could hear gasps from Wilbur’s classmates and whispers soon erupted from the crowd. Techno ducked his head down slightly, not comfortable with all the attention he was receiving.

“Quiet down guys! Dream’s got something to say!” Two boys appeared at the green boy’s - Dream’s - side. One had a pair of white sunglasses and the other: a white bandana? Dream - apparently the leader of this group of kids - turned towards the two boys, “Thank you, George. Sapnap.” He turned back to where Wilbur and Techno stood in the middle of the group of children.

He pointed at Techno, “Your name is Techno, yeah?” Techno nodded, not wanting to speak. Dream clapped his hands together. “You here for the night fight? No one here’s brave enough to challenge me anymore.”

Wilbur, following through with his promise to do the talking, spoke for Techno. “He sure is! He’s gonna win, too!” 

The two boys - George and Sapnap - started laughing. “Y-You think Dream’s gonna lose? Pffff-” George was cut off by a slap to the back from Dream, effectively silencing the other two boys.

Dream made direct eye contact with Techno, completely ignoring Wilbur, “Good luck.”

After hearing Dream’s words, all the other kids spread out, making a clearing for the two boys to fight in. Wilbur patted Techno on the back whispering a ‘good luck’ before leaving to join the other kids on the sidelines. Dream walked into the middle of the clearing, across from Techno. From the sidelines, Sapnap threw a sword towards Dream. Except… this sword wasn’t a standard training sword, no this was an actual metal sword… a gold sword to be specific.

Techno found his eyes hyper focused on the way that moonlight glimmered off the blade… 

He shook his head, no now was not the time to give in. He had a fight to win. Getting into battle stance, Techno raised his training sword, watching Dream’s every move. The boy opposite of him mimicking his stance, obviously he was skilled - if his stance was anything to judge off. The two had a stare-down, the crowd around them holding their breath, waiting for one of them to make a first move.

Dream was the first to make a move, a heavy swing sent Techno’s direction - very dangerous - only for it to be dodged with a roll to the side. The tip of the sword hitting the ground, burying itself slightly in it. Dream yanked it out, obviously not used to missing the first swing and quickly resumed his offensive attack. 

Techno, expecting Dream to swing again, ducked down and sweeped the boy’s legs, knocking him off balance. A good idea in theory, but in action it had caused Dream to let go of the sword mid swing. The gold sword swiping Techno’s cheek as it fell, drawing blood.

Stumbling backwards, Techno brought his empty hoof up to his cheek, bringing it back down only to be met with blood. Across from him, scrambling to get off the ground, Dream looked over to see the blood dripping onto the ground, the small amount of face visible under the mask revealing his surprise. Techno, raised his sword - not backing down - and prepared his attack. 

Dream frantically stood up and grabbed his sword, just barely grabbing it in time to block Techno’s attack. Pushing against Techno’s sword with as much strength that he could channel, Dream made a mistake. His foot began to slip against the force of Techno’s pushing, his own strength not enough to hold its own. Techno spotting this slip up, swung his sword to the side, causing Dream’s sword to be flung away from the two boys. He stalked forward, preparing to pin Dream down and end the fight when Dream blindly rushed forward and pushed him. 

As Techno fell backwards, his crown went flying off his head. From the sidelines, Wilbur could be heard gasping - already having an idea of how badly this could end. The loss of his crown bringing the territorial growling.

Dream’s eyes snapped open at the sound. He looked at Techno and saw rage. He ran to his sword, quickly picking it up and getting into a defensive position. It proved futile when Techno charged forward and grabbed the sword from his hands, fumbling with it slightly due to his hooves, and pushed Dream down with his rage-induced strength. He brought the golden weapon to the boy’s neck… and stopped. When Dream looked at Techno again, the rage was gone and instead was replaced with nervous victory. 

The piglin pulled back the sword and offered a hoof to Dream. Dream accepted it with a strange feeling in his chest; He’d never been beaten before and yet, this new kid - Wilbur’s secret older brother - had won on his first try. Dream continued to hold onto Techno’s hoof shaking it. 

“Good fight. You won fair and square, man.”

Techno snorted, “Thisss sss’ord issss mine now…” He pulled his hoof back from Dream. “... Good fight.” He turned around and walked towards Wilbur, who was holding his crown and training sword.

Dream stayed where he was standing watching Techno as he walked away. He soon was joined by George and Sapnap.

“Dream, bro, what happened-”

He cut them off, “I found a rival, that’s what happened…” He said as he watched his newly declared rival put his crown back on.

Dream didn’t even care that Techno had taken his sword - he’d just steal another one from his dad - no, all that mattered was that Dream had found someone that could hold their own…

\---

“Techie! That was amazing!” Wilbur shouted as they made their way through the forest on their way back home. He swung Techno’s training sword in front of himself. “I knew you could do it!” He pointed at the golden sword. “You even won a cool new sword!”

Techno chuckled, looking at his shiny new weapon. He could see his own reflection in the gold blade. He took note of the cut on his cheek and found himself secretly hoping that it would scar.

Wilbur watched his brother as they walked, taking note of his facial expression - calm. He’d been extremely worried when Techno’s crown had fallen off his head, but he’d been mildly surprised that Techno was able to control himself enough to win the fight - instead of the much more scary alternative. Maybe Techno was stronger than the monster he was born to be…

Both boys’ thoughts were broken by a rustling in a nearby bush, Techno snapping into action and pushing Wilbur behind himself raising the golden sword. Only for the source of the rustling to be… a little boy?

The new boy’s clothes were extremely ragged - even more than Wilbur’s had once been - but his blue eyes bright with amazement.

“THE BLADE!!”

… wonder how Dad’s going to react to this...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all probably already know who the boy at the end is (check tags for a spoiler(?))
> 
> Also, yes, the Dream Team are here now. No I do not plan on tagging them (at least not until they appear more often).
> 
> \---
> 
> Longest chapter I've ever written: 2,097 words. This is the only chapter that has had an outline (a very, very basic one, but still) and I've been planning it for a little while.
> 
> I also saw this post about CaptainSparklez and Philza being brothers who are both single dads and honestly? That's super cute: [Found Here](https://gayforfundy.tumblr.com/post/631453520335355904/new-family-concept)


	10. Not a chapter just an authors note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> read chapter name

~~So, y'know how these are just a bunch of shorts that all take place around the same time right?~~

~~Well, I've been thinking about rewriting this (but with more of a story i suppose) and adding/changing some stuff.~~

~~Cuz, I've gotten much more comfortable writing and none of these chapters are really thought out, so i wanted to actually put some effort into this (since y'all seem to like it so much!)~~

~~I'll try to still post chapters here, just not as often?~~

~~Would you guys be interested in something like that? or should I just keep doing what I'm doin'?~~

Edit: Thanks to the wonderful comments you guys have left, I've decided to just continue what I'm doin'. Maybe I'll write a story driven fic one day, but that day is not today.

Next chapter should be up sometime today, btw.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if you guys were expecting this to be an actual chapter... just wanted to say this.


	11. Baby Brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wilbur and Techno meet a new person A.K.A This is our new baby brother and we love him very much, but he is also a little gremlin who just wants to _fight_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This continues right where the last chapter ended!

“BLADE! BLADE!” The little boy yelled, completely ignoring the sword being pointed at his face. 

Techno, completely overwhelmed by this very loud child, lowered his sword and nudged Wilbur towards the boy instead. With a scoff at his brother, Wilbur walked closer to the boy.

Putting on a smile, he introduced himself. “Hi! I’m Wilbur and this is my brother Techno. What’s your name?”

The boy seemed very excited to have gotten a response to his yelling; He pointed at himself. “Tommy!”

“Well Tommy, is there a reason why you jumped out of a bush and started yelling at us?”

Tommy’s eyes seemed to shine even brighter, “BLADE!” He pointed at Techno with a stick, mimicking the battle stance Techno had used during his duel with Dream. “FIGHT! FIGHT!”

“Fight? ...Why are you so eager to fight? I personally find it really tiring.” Techno could be heard laughing at Wilbur’s comment “Thatss becausse you only have me to train ‘ith”

Wilbur turned around and shoved his brother, “Shut up, Techno.” He mumbled, but Techno continued to laugh at him. He turned back to Tommy, remembering that the kid was still standing right there. The kid’s face still full of admiration.

“Uhh, right, well… I think you’re a little young for Techno’s sword fighting dontcha think?” He grabbed Techno’s arm and began to walk away, “You should go home, Tommy. Maybe Techno can fight with you when you’re older.” He increased his pace, trying to get away from the child and to get home before Phil realized that Wilbur had smuggled Techno outside. 

“N-NO!”

Wilbur turned around to see the young boy chasing after them. The boy ran up and grabbed onto the end of Techno’s cloak.

“NO LEAVE!” He tugged on the cloak, “Fight!” He said with a distraught look on his face. 

Techno just snorted and pulled the cloak causing the boy to stumble and fall flat on his face. “Go home to your parentsss, kid.”

Tommy refused to give up, pushing himself up and quickly latching back onto Techno. A sad look briefly flashed on his face when the word ‘parents’ was said, but his face quickly turned back to excited.

Wilbur’s eyes widened, having noticed the expression change. “Wait… is he an orphan?” He brought a hand up to his mouth, lightly biting it while he thought. He turned towards Techno.

“Is this how you felt when you met me? Sad, empathetic, and slightly protective?”

“No.” Techno answered in a deadpan voice. Wilbur smacked him. “Give me a real answer, asshole.”

Techno sighed, absentmindedly twirling his blade and acutely aware of the boy hugging his leg. “I wass ssad beccausse I wass losst, not beccausse of you and I wass not empatheticc.” He tightly gripped the handle of the sword. “I wass… protecctive…” He finally turned to Wilbur. “I wass willin’ to fight Dad jusst to be able to have you come home with me… You ‘ere one of the few humanss ‘ho had been kind to me.”

He abruptly turned his head away, not wanting his moment of vulnerability to be easily seen. “If ssomeone wass tryin’ to hurt you… I would not hessitate.” 

A moment of silence passed. Techno looked down at the messy mop of blonde hair on his leg. “Are you tryin’ to tell me that thiss boy,” He placed a hoof on top of Tommy’s head, the boy making a squeaking noise in response, “Thisss loud, perssisstent boy ‘ho hass done nothin’ but try and get me to fight him, iss makin’ you feel thosse thingss?”

Wilbur stared at Tommy, watching as the boy squeezed Techno’s leg with a satisfied look on his face; Whether or not the face was because he was touching Techno or because Techno was touching him was unclear. It made Wilbur remember vague memories of when he was that little. Of when he had just ran away from his orphanage and was left all alone. Wilbur had been loud and outspoken the first few months after he left; Always shouting at people, trying to get their attention, to get them to care. Everything - down to the rugged clothes and the dirt in his nails - that Wilbur could see on the boy, he could see on a younger version of himself. 

So yes, Wilbur decided, Tommy definitely made him feel sad and empathetic. And he might not be much of a fighter like Techno, but he certainly wanted to keep this kid safe… 

Before Wilbur had a chance to respond, Techno had pried Tommy off his leg and was crouching down slightly, the gold sword sitting on the ground. 

“CCome on, kid. Get on my bacck. I’ll ccarry you home.”

Tommy excitedly jumped on Techno’s back and was caught with relative ease. The piglin looked down at his sword and then at Wilbur nodding at it. “Ccould you ccarry that for me?” He shuffled Tommy on his back a bit, “My hoovess are a little full…”

Wilbur just stared at Techno, astonished. The piglin boy looked at Wilbur with a blank expression. 

“‘hat. You made it obviouss you wanted to take the boy home. All I’m doing iss ccarrin’ him so ‘e ccan get home fasster.”

“I- But… I didn’t even answer your question. How did you know?”

“You ‘ere lookin’ at him with a ssad look. That’ss all I needed to ssee.”

With that, Wilbur leaned down and picked up the golden sword in the hand not already holding the training sword and they continued their walk home in peace-

“I’m tellin’ Dad you ccusssed at me.”

“WHAT?! DON’T YOU DARE!”

Techno ran away from Wilbur, Tommy on his back laughing as he was jumbled around by the movement.

\---

When Phil opened the front door of his house, the first thing he noticed was that it was way too quiet. Techno and Wilbur weren’t particularly loud kids, but they certainly weren’t this silent. The second thing he noticed was the dirt trail that led to the bedroom. Not a strange occurrence by itself - Wilbur was constantly leaving dirt all over the house - but his boys always fell asleep on the couch on nights where he left, presumably waiting for him to get home before going to bed. So for the dirt trail to lead to the bedroom? Very suspicious.

Without even taking his hat and boots off, Phil walked over to the bedroom door. He put his ear against it first, listening for any out of the ordinary noises, but was greeted with nothing new. He slowly pushed it open, not sure what to expect, and was greeted with what might have been the cutest sight he’s ever seen. 

On the bed, Techno and Wilbur were cuddled together, sleeping. A normal occurrence when they slept near each other. The one thing that stood out was the small scruffy looking kid that was tangled in the middle.

Slowly moving closer, Phil noticed a nasty looking cut on Techno’s cheek that had definitely not been there before and a golden sword laying on the ground on the side closest to Techno. Phil reached out a hand to gently shake him awake, wanting to clean his wound and ask about what had happened. The movement woke the piglin boy immediately due to being a light sleeper; Techno’s light sleeping increased whenever Phil was gone.

“... Dad?”

“Yeah, I’m back.” Phil walked over to the door, gesturing for Techno to follow him. “Let’s go talk in the kitchen, wouldn’t want to wake up the others.” 

He walked out of the room, not bothering to look behind to check if Techno was following due to the small noise that Techno’s hooves made as he walked. Approaching the cabinet where some medical supplies were kept, Phil made sure to grab some disinfectants and bandages; He wetted a towel to clean the wound with. Setting the supplies on the table, Phil gently held Techno’s face to get a better look at the cut; The piglin looked nervous.

“Did you boys have fun at least?”

“Huh? Oh… yeah? I think ssso?”

Phil raised an eyebrow and dabbed the towel on the wound, causing Techno to hiss. “You just ‘think so’? The cut on your cheek would say that you had quite the fun time while I was gone...”

“Uhhhhh… Wilbur might have… took me to meet sssome… ssscchool friendsss?”

“Uh huh. Even though that’s against one of the very few rules that I have for you guys?”

“Maaayyybbeee?”

Phil sighed, putting down the towel and preparing the disinfectant. “Well, there isn’t anything I can do about it now just… don’t do it again, alright?” He covered the cut with a band-aid and let go of Techno’s face.

While Techno rubbed the area near the band-aid - irritated by the new sensation, Phil sat down at the table across from the piglin boy. “Now, care to explain why there’s an extra child in the house? Last time I checked, I only have two kids...”

Techno stopped rubbing his cheek, opting to instead tap his hooves together lightly. “Hiss name iss Tommy and ‘e found him ‘hile ‘e ‘ere outsside, in the ‘oods… He doessen’t sseem to have parents and sstarted freakin’ out ‘hen ‘e tried to leave him.”

Techno spoke in a quieter voice, “‘Bur got really attacched to him sso ‘e brought him home…”

Phil smiled, “It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had one of my kids bring home another kid…” He tapped his hand on the table, idly. “If I’m recalling correctly… A certain piglin brought home a boy and practically demanded that the new kid be allowed to stay…” He looked at Techno fondly.

“Uhhh… I don’t know 'hat you’re talkin’ about…” Techno said, lying.

Phil laughed, knowing that Techno knew exactly what he was referring to. “Well, guess I have three kids now… Never thought I’d get to this point, but I don’t regret what I did to get here.”

… Phil’s a father of three now and honestly? He wouldn’t change anything...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Techno:** Why is this toddler trying to fight me?
> 
> **Wilbur:** I don't care, I love him already.
> 
> \---
> 
> Tommy's here, His english is bad, and he is a very small child.
> 
> Also, If you guys have questions, don't be afraid to ask them! I'd love to answer any you have!


	12. Stop being such a fussy baby, Tommy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wilbur comes home from school and sees Phil struggling.

“DAAAAADDD! I’M HOME!”

“In the kitchen, Wil!”

Wilbur threw his backpack on the floor by the door and ran in the direction of the kitchen. Sliding into the kitchen, Wilbur was greeted by the sight of his father holding his baby brother, Tommy, and trying to get the toddler to eat a carrot. The toddler kept pushing the man’s hand away and squirming in his hold.

“NO WANT FOOD! WANT FIGHT!”

“You’re too little to fight, Tommy, you’d just end up getting hurt.” He brought the carrot back up to Tommy’s mouth, “Please eat something. You’ve been refusing food all day. You’re a growing boy, you need to eat.” 

The rebellious toddler smacked the carrot out of Phil’s hand and started to kick. Phil sighed; he’d been trying to get Tommy to eat for about an hour now and it seemed that the battle wasn’t even close to being over yet. He spotted Wilbur out of the corner of his eye.

“Welcome home. How was school today?”

Wilbur just shrugged, “Kinda boring, y’know,” he started to count on his fingers as he listed that day’s events, “Didn’t really learn anything new today, Dream kept whining about his ‘rival’ not showing up to the last meet-up, I grabbed a new book for Techno, the usual.”

Phil huffed, “Your day certainly sounds easier than mine’s been.” He bounced Tommy on his hip, trying to get the boy to stop kicking him, “Tommy’s been a little fussy today. He keeps refusing to eat anything.”

Wilbur frowned at Tommy, concerned. “Don’t be mean to Dad, Toms. He’s just trying to help.” He walked over and grabbed a carrot. “Will you eat this for me? Please?”

The boy looked down at his brother from where he was being held… and smacked the carrot away. “NO!” He yelled as he continued to squirm.

“‘Hat’sss the meanin’ of all thisss noissse?”

Phil and Wilbur turned to the doorway to see Techno standing there, gold sword still in hand from when he was training. Tommy noticed Techno too, as his squirming began to become more intense. It got to the point where Phil had to put the boy down in fear of dropping him. Once Tommy’s feet hit the ground, he ran over to Techno and grabbed onto his cloak.

“BLADE!”

Phil sighed and rested his head in his now-empty hands, “Tommy’s throwing a bit of a tantrum. He keeps refusing to eat.”

Techno hummed, carefully laid his sword on the ground and grabbed a carrot from the table. Using his empty hoof, he gently pushed Tommy down until he was sitting on the floor. He crouched down to Tommy’s level, making eye contact with the boy. Tommy tilted his head, confused about what was happening.

“Fight?”

Techno shook his head ‘no’ and pushed the hoof holding the carrot towards Tommy, “Eat.”

Tommy pouted, “Figh-”

Techno closed the boy’s mouth with his other hoof, silencing the toddler, and told him in a stern voice, “Eat.” He handed the carrot to Tommy, who took it immediately and began to chew on it. 

Seeing that his job was done, Techno stood up and turned his attention back to the other inhabitants of the room. Phil’s face was shocked; He’d been trying to get Tommy to eat for at least an hour and Techno comes in and gets him to eat in just a few minutes? Absolutely shocking. Wilbur, however, just looked happy to see Techno.

“Wow! How’d you get him to eat so easily?” Wilbur questioned.

“Sssometimess you’ve jusst gotta be asssertive.” The piglin shrugged. 

Wilbur laughed. That was a very Techno-like answer, using intimidation to get a fussy toddler to eat. 

Techno had a small smile on his face, he liked it when Wilbur laughed. He hasn’t heard the noise as often ever since Wilbur started school; he missed it.

Just as soon as the laughing had started, it ended. Wilbur, having finally calmed down, asked Techno another question. 

“Oh! Dream keeps asking me if you’re coming to the next meet-up. The guy never stops talking about you.” He paused for a moment, “Well, he never actually refers to you by name, but he keeps saying stuff like,” Wilbur put a fist over his heart, “‘My rival, the one person who managed to best me in combat.’ and ‘the only one who has defeated me.’”

Wilbur waved a hand, “Weird, right? Who says that kinda stuff anyway?”

“Hmm… I ‘ouldn’t be opposssed to fightin’ him again…”

Phil, having been listening in on the conversation, chose this moment to join. “Absolutely not. Last time you fought him you got hurt! As your father I can’t allow you to go again.”

Techno and Wilbur just shrugged, they didn’t really care, though Techno did look a little disappointed; he liked fighting. 

Tommy having finished his carrot, turned over to the rest of his family showing them his empty hands. “Fight now?”

Everyone just sighed, such a persistent little boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to post this earlier but I kept getting distracted by reading Technoblade's Hypixel Fanfic.
> 
> \---
> 
> Made this for anyone who is curious about Techno's outfit (ignore the fact that my art isn't super great):  
> 
> 
> Higher Quality Version -> [Here](https://dumbleedee.tumblr.com/post/632015433779822593/drawing-swords-is-hard-so-i-refuse-to-do-it)
> 
> As always, If you have any questions don't be afraid to ask them! I enjoy answering them!


	13. The "Beach" Episode

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil decides the kids need some time to relax, so he takes them to a nearby lake. While there, he does some reflecting and learns some new things about his boys...
> 
> Chapter idea suggested by user Alone4220!

“Dad?” Wilbur said from his spot on the couch, “I’m bored.”

Phil looked up from the book he was reading, his movements careful so that he didn’t wake up Tommy, who was sleeping on his lap. “Why don’t you go outside with Techno? I’m sure he’d be glad to have someone to spar with.”

Wilbur groaned and slid down the cushions a bit. “But that’s all he ever wants to do…” He crossed his arms, pouting.

Phil looked back down at his book, contemplating if he should put his bookmark in it or not. “Have you tried asking him to play with you? Maybe he’d do something different if you asked first.”

“I HAVE!” Wilbur huffed, “His idea of ‘playing’ always ends with some kind of roughhousing, or sleeping, or reading!” He shouted.

“Quiet down, Wil. Tommy’s sleeping.” Phil looked down to see the toddler shuffling a bit before settling back down. He glanced back over to Wilbur, who was blowing his hair out of his face with little success. “Maybe we should go somewhere then...”

Wilbur immediately perked up, eyes wide. “Go somewhere? Where? I wanna go! You never take us anywhere!”

Phil laughed, “I haven’t even told you where we’re going, Wil. Calm down.” 

\---

Walking down a familiar dirt path, Phil took a deep breath. It’d been a while since he’d been here; He hasn’t had time since he found Techno. In fact, if it weren’t for the young boy in his arms and the two slightly bigger ones trailing behind him, Phil might have thought that he had traveled back in time. Fatherhood had definitely changed his priorities. 

His signature outfit had been changed out for a simple pair of green swim trunks. His boys each wearing a pair with their preferred color: Techno - deep, dark red, Wilbur - yellow, and Tommy - bright, neon red. Behind him, Phil could hear Wilbur happily chattering to Techno.

“It’s been so long since we’ve gone anywhere as a family!.. When exactly was the last time we went somewhere together?”

“Uhhh… I’d sssay ‘hen I met you?” Techno took a minute to think, “Yeah. Dad doessn’t really like it ‘hen I go too cclosse to the village. That’ss the lasst time I remember goin’ there.” 

Techno quietly mumbled to himself, “Didn’t help that my experiencce there wassn’t very good…”

Wilbur, having not heard the mumbling, continued the conversation, “Huh... We didn’t even have Tommy with us then. I guess we’ve never really gone anywhere as a family…”

Phil decided to jump in, sensing that the conversation was beginning to turn sour, “I’m sorry, boys. That’s on me. I’m not the most social person in the village, I’m so used to just staying home most of the time.”

“Oh no, don’t worry! I know that, Dad.” Wilbur gestured to the trees surrounding them. “I prefer this anyway, y’know, being in the woods - away from the village.” He nudged Techno with his elbow, “And Techno doesn’t have to constantly wear his cloak here! He’s free to be his piggy self!”

Techno snorted, which made Wilbur giggle a bit and mouth ‘piggy’. “‘m not a pig, ‘Bur. I’m a piglin, get it right.” He said as he crossed his arms, only mildly annoyed.

“Pig? Piglin?” Wilbur shrugged. “I see no difference.”

“Acctually, theress a lot of differen-” “WATER!”

Techno was cut off by Tommy yelling; the toddler pointing forward at the lake. Phil chuckled, “Yes, Tommy. That certainly is water.”

He turned around to the older two. “We’re here. You can stop provoking Techno, Wilbur.”

“Me? Provoke Techno? Never.” 

“That’s a lie and you know it, Wil.” Phil gestured to the lake with his empty hand. “Now, this is my fishing lake. The fish here are docile, so you shouldn’t have to worry about them hurting you. Just respect them and all should go smoothly, alright?”

Techno and Wilbur nodded.

“Can I take Tommy, Dad? I wanna build a sandcastle with him.” Wilbur asked making grabby hands at Tommy.

“SANDCASTLE! SANDCASTLE!” Tommy started to squirm in Phil’s hold. 

“Okay, okay. You can go build a sandcastle. Just stay where I can see you.” Phil put down Tommy, who grabbed onto Wilbur’s hand as they both ran over to a large patch of sand near the lake. Phil looked over at Techno, noticing that the young piglin looked nervous.

“You could join them if ya wanted. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind.” Phil offered.

Techno jumped a little, not expecting to be noticed. “Uhhh. No, I-I’m okay… I’ll jusst go cchecck out the lake…” With that, Phil watched as Techno slinked away, leaving behind cute little hoof prints in the sand.

Being left alone, with his children occupied with their own tasks… Phil realized that he had no idea what to do. He’d grown so used to taking care of them 24/7 that when given the opportunity to do what HE wanted, he found himself just wondering what they were doing, how they were doing. 

He wandered over to the edge of the forest - where the trees met the sand - and watched as the wind shook the tree’s leaves, while trying to keep an eye on each of the boys. Had his trips to the lake always been this… boring? Surely not, right? He’d spent much of his life here - having never been very active at the village - so why did this feel so strange?

Did the addition of his boys into his life really change it so much? He looked away from the trees and over to Wilbur and Tommy, their sandcastle already halfway built. Wilbur appeared to be ranting about something while Tommy listened attentively. Phil smiled; yeah, his life has definitely changed. The old slow paced schedule that he used to follow being quickly replaced with a more fast paced, constantly changing mess. He wouldn’t change it, though; he found that he enjoyed the chaos that his sons created, even if it did stress him out a little.

He wandered over to Wilbur and Tommy. The closer he got, the easier Wilbur’s rant was to hear. It sounded a bit like gibberish to Phil, but Tommy appeared to understand every word, despite the toddler’s normal difficulty with understanding. 

“Hey! How’s the sandcastle coming along?”

Wilbur turned around to face his father, his rant interrupted. “Great! We’re almost done with it! Just gotta finish the last wall and it’ll be complete!” He motioned towards the structure, where Tommy was slowly stacking up wet sand in the empty hole in the wall. Wilbur walked over to Tommy and started pushing sand too. With both boys working together, they were able to make the new wall level with the rest of the surrounding walls.

Wilbur jumped up, excited. He reached down and grabbed Tommy’s hand, pulling the little boy up from his spot in the sand. He turned back to Phil, 

“Can I take Tommy into the water?” He asked, the sandcastle quickly forgotten in favor of swimming in the lake.

Phil took off his hat and ran a hand through his hair, “I suppose. Just… don’t take him too far in, okay? We don’t really know if he can swim, yet.”

“Don’t worry! I won’t let anything happen to Toms.” With that, he pulled Tommy over to the water.

Phil watched as they went before turning in the direction he last saw Techno. He spotted the piglin lightly kicking in the sand, looking slightly sad. He kept opening and closing his hooves and frowning down at them, glancing at his surroundings for a bit before looking back down.

Wanting to check up on Techno, Phil walked over to where the young piglin was meandering by the lake. He watched the boy, waiting to be noticed but Techno’s attention never left the ground.

“Techno-” “HEEEH!”

Techno whipped around to face Phil, his eyes wide. “D-Dad! H-how long have you been there?”

Phil smiled and put a hand on his hip, mildly amused. “Not long. Just saw you looking sad and wanted to see how you’re feeling.”

“O-Oh, uhhh… I’m good, I’m good.”

“Really?” Phil raised an eyebrow, “How come you keep frowning at your hooves? Are they bothering you?”

Techno shook his head frantically, his hooves hidden behind his back. “No! No! I jusst, uhh, I jusst…” He lowered his head, “I jusst missss my s’ord.”

“Hmm… why don’t you go in the lake with Wilbur and Tommy?” He pointed over his shoulder towards the two other boys who were splashing each other in the shallow water, “To distract yourself from thinking about your sword?”

“I-I don’t think that’ss a-”

“Techno!” “BLADE!”

Phil and Techno turned to face the source of the noise, Wilbur and Tommy. The two boys were waving in the direction of their father and older brother, trying to get their attention.

“Come play in the water with us!”

When Techno gave no response, Phil looked over at him to see the piglin staring at the lake, eyes wide, hooves desperately grabbing at whatever fabric on his trunks they could find. Frowning, Phil gently put a hand on Techno’s shoulder, causing the boy to jump, startled.

“You don’t have to go in the lake if you don’t want to. It’s your choice.”

Techno shuffled closer to Phil, “D-Dad… I-I ccan’t ssswim.” He held his hooves up, “I-I don’t even know if it’s posssible to sswim with my hooves.” He opened his hooves and closed them, “I know that pigss can sswim, but… I’m not ssure if that applies to piglinss… We have different body sstruccturess...”

He looked up and down his own body, “All the sstuff I’ve read in the bookss ‘Bur’ss been bringing home ssay that it sshouldn’t be posssible. I’m not built for water…”

Phil pulled Techno in for a hug, “Hey, it’s okay. I’ll stay on the sand with you. We’ll just stand by where the others are swimming.” He could feel Techno nodding.

“Now, let’s go see what Tommy and Wi- WILBUR GET THAT SAND OUT OF YOUR MOUTH THIS INSTANT, YOUNG MAN!”

… maybe Phil should have taken them somewhere else...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WE GOT FANART BOOOOOYYYYYSSSS**
> 
> Made by the lovely [Waddei](https://waddei.tumblr.com/) on tumblr!
> 
> Check it out [here](https://waddei.tumblr.com/post/632360953589153792/haha-take-that-dream-some-fanart-for-the-phil)!
> 
> \---
> 
> Also here's a Wilbur to go with the Techno I drew:  
> 
> 
> Higher Quality Version -> [Here](https://dumbleedee.tumblr.com/post/632253069845037056/dirty-crime-boy-except-hes-literally-covered-in)


	14. Learnin' How To Properly Smack Your Sibling With A Weapon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boredom brings stupid questions. Stupid questions bring interesting answers. Interesting answers are found in weird ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what if i updated my fic two days in a row... haha jk jk. unless?

Wilbur and Techno were sat together on the couch, patiently waiting for Phil to finish making dinner. In front of them, Tommy was sitting on the floor playing with the hood of his onesie - bored. They’d been sitting there for only a few minutes, but they’d already grown tired of waiting.

“DAAAAD? Is dinner ready yet?”

“No, Wil, and it won’t get finished any faster if you keep asking.”

Wilbur huffed and slumped against Techno, who was jostled by the movement and distracted from the book he was reading. Techno put a bookmark in his book and turned towards Wilbur, looking at the boy’s bored face. He watched as Wilbur’s gaze moved from the hall that led to the kitchen to Tommy. 

“Y’know, I wonder if Tommy knows your actual name, Techno. I’ve never heard him say it before.” He turned towards Techno, “He always calls you ‘Blade’.”

Not waiting for a response, Wilbur slid off the couch, dragging Techno with him. They approached the toddler, who immediately turned his attention towards them.

“Hey, Toms. Wanna play a little game?”

Tommy perked up, desperate for some way to pass time, and nodded.

“Good, good.” Wilbur sat down in front of Tommy, pulling Techno down beside him. “Now, I’m going to point at someone and you need to say their name, got it?”

Tommy nodded again.

Wanting to start off easily, Wilbur pointed at Tommy.

“Tommy!”

He pointed at himself. 

“Wilbur!”

He pointed at Techno. 

“Blade!”

Holding back a laugh, Wilbur pointed at himself again.

“Wilbur!”

Then back at Techno.

“Blade!”

Giving in, Wilbur burst out laughing. “T-Tommy doesn’t know your name, Techno!” He rolled over onto his side, still laughing. Tommy, however, just looked confused. Why was Wilbur laughing so hard? Did something funny happen?

Techno snorted at Wilbur, “He’ss sstill learnin’, ‘Bur. I’m ssure he’ll figure it out ssoon.”

Before Wilbur could defend his reason for laughing, Phil appeared in the hallway.

“Time to eat, boys!”

\---

Techno stood in the middle of the training area behind the house. He took note of his surroundings: the dusty texture of the ground, the slashes on the trunks of nearby trees, the box full of training equipment that Phil had bought him. This was his place. He’d been the one to wear down the ground until nothing was left but dirt; He’d been the one to put those cuts on the trees.

Of course, anyone was welcome to join him here. Techno always appreciated having someone to spar with; It’d even gotten to the point where Phil had offered to spar with him a few times and despite the size difference, Techno had won. The only person who wasn’t supposed to be out here, was Tommy. Phil had told them, Wilbur and Techno, that Tommy was too young (and small) to be fighting with them.

So, imagine Techno’s surprise when his private training session was interrupted by the young boy. 

He’d just started practicing various types of attacks on a tree when something had hit him in the back. Not hard enough to be a threat, but just enough to get his attention. He spun around, not sure what to expect… only to find Tommy, wearing his cow onesie, holding a stick.

“Aren’t you ssuppossed to be insside, Tommy?” He glanced around, looking for any sign of Phil, only to find nothing. “Where’ss Dad? You’re ssuppossed to be ‘ith him…”

Tommy didn’t seem to care what Techno was saying, as he raised his stick again - preparing to hit Techno. As he swung it down, it was quickly caught before making contact with it’s target. Techno pulled the stick out of Tommy’s grip and stepped back, away from his ‘attacker’.

Tommy frowned, upset that his ‘weapon’ had been taken from him.

“Your possture is all ‘rong, kid. You’ll never get a good hit in like that.”

Techno walked over to the weapons box - placing the stick and his gold sword on the ground nearby - and grabbed his and Wilbur’s training swords. He went back over to Tommy and handed him Wilbur’s sword. He backed up.

“Sshow me ‘hat we’re workin’ ‘ith.”

The boy, after staring at the sword placed in his hands in awe, got into a rough imitation of a fighting stance. He raised the sword, much like how he would raise his stick, and… lightly hit Techno in the chest, doing no damage at all.

“Y’know, for ssomeone ‘ho cconsstantly triess to get in fightss, you ssure are terrible at fightin’.”

Techno gently pushed Tommy away. “Let’ss sstart by fixin’ that sstance.” 

He nudged the boy’s feet apart and straightened his back, twisting so the boy was at a slight angle. He let go to see if Tommy could hold the pose on his own and was pleased to see the boy maintaining the position.

“Good.” Techno stepped away from Tommy, standing across from him. “Now, remember, ‘hen you sswing, do it from the sside. Don’t sswing up and down.”

Following Techno’s instructions, Tommy swung his sword to the side - aiming for Techno’s waist. His attack was immediately blocked by Techno’s sword, but it was definitely an improvement from the first two attempts. Techno smiled, not bad for a beginner.

“Don’t tell ‘Bur, but you’re already doing better than he did ‘hen he sstarted.”

Tommy’s eyes widened, not expecting the compliment, and dropped Wilbur’s sword in the dirt, running towards Techno and hugging him.

Techno grunted, “You ssure are cclingy, Tommy.”

When Techno looked down at the boy latched onto his legs, he was greeted by a pair of tired blue eyes. 

“Wait… Did you sskip your nap to ccome out here?”

Tommy nodded into Techno’s cloak.

Techno sighed and put his training sword on the ground. He picked up Tommy and began to walk towards the house. While carrying the boy, Techno could hear him mumbling, “Thanks, Techno… Blade…”

Techno smiled.

He knew Tommy would figure out his name eventually, well… technically Tommy still called him ‘Blade’ but he at least said Techno first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally had no homework today so I decided to write this instead. Enjoy.
> 
> \---
> 
> I also made some [rough character refs](https://dumbleedee.tumblr.com/post/632461283435986944/made-character-refs-for-my-fic-cuz-it-helps-me) if you're interested in how the boys look. You don't have to look at them, but I find that they help me when writing so I'll share them with you guys, too.
> 
> ~~Also, yes, Tommy is the only character who has two outfits. I just couldn't resist giving him a silly little onesie, but I also had to give him somewhat normal clothes.~~


	15. Visitors from the Capital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lovely morning is interrupted when Phil tells the boys that there's someone they need to meet.

Techno and Wilbur were fast asleep, curling into each other in Techno’s bed. Even though they had been given a room to share with separate beds, they still could be found together in one of their beds. Sunlight streamed through the window, illuminating the middle of the room, just barely missing the faces of the two occupants. It was early morning, the quietest time in the house. 

Phil should be waking up soon. Eventually he’ll come into the boys’ room and gently shake them awake and bring promises of breakfast if they comply. They would grumble and complain about waking up at such a time, but would give in to the offer of a quiet and calm breakfast with Dad. Tommy would still be sleeping in Dad’s room, exhausted from whatever exciting task he’d partaken in the day before. 

Or, that’s how weekend mornings are supposed to go.

Instead, they were awoken by their little brother aggressively jumping up onto their bed, yelling, “Up! Wake up!”

Without even opening their eyes, they reached up and pushed Tommy off the bed, a thump sounding out as the boy hit the ground. They settled back down, huddled together once again.

This did not dissuade Tommy from climbing back onto the bed, once again yelling, “Wake up!”

Wilbur, having grown tired of the gremlin, opened one of his eyes to tiredly glare at the child. 

“What is so important, Tommy, that you thought it would be a good idea to wake us up so _fucking_ early?” Wilbur asked, agitated.

Tommy, looking extremely pleased that one of his brothers had opened their eyes, responded by yanking their ‘blanket’ (Techno’s cloak) off. He rolled off the bed and ran out the door, still carrying the ‘blanket’, yelling, “Awake! Awake!”

From the hallway, Wilbur and Techno could hear amused mumbling followed by a familiar chuckle. Not long after, their father appeared in the doorway, Tommy peeking out from behind his legs. 

“Come on, boys. We’ve got somewhere to be right now.”

Wilbur, who was always intrigued by the prospect of leaving the house, rapidly sat up. “We’re going somewhere!?” He turned to Techno, shaking the piglin aggressively. “Get up! Get up!” 

Techno, who was already awake but had yet to open his eyes, reached up and pushed Wilbur off the bed, just like they had both done to Tommy just moments before.

“Ugh! Just wake up, you stupid pig!” Wilbur yelled from his newfound spot on the floor. Phil and Tommy just watching everything unfold from the doorway.

Apparently Techno didn’t appreciate Wilbur’s comment, as he abruptly stopped his fake sleeping and sat up, glaring down at the boy on the floor.

“One, I’m not a pig. Two,” Techno crossed his arms, “That’ss sspecciessisst, ‘Bur. Can’t believe you ‘ould sstoop to ssucch low levelss.”

Techno started to fake cry, trying to guilt Wilbur into feeling bad, “I-I thought you loved me, ‘Bur. How ccould you?”

Wilbur sighed, exasperated. “Oh my god, Techno. Stop being such a-”

Phil stepped in, cutting off Wilbur before the two boys actually started to fight - he knew from experience that these petty little arguments often turned into long drawn out “”wars”” between the boys.

“That’s enough, boys. No need to be so hostile.” He gestured towards the dresser in the corner, “Now, stop fighting and get dressed. Meet me and Tommy in the living room when you’re ready.”

Phil grabbed Tommy’s hand and walked out the door, leaving the two boys alone in the room. 

Wilbur and Techno glared at each other for a moment before they both sighed.

“Alright.” Wilbur held his hands up in front of himself, “I’m sorry for calling you a stupid pig…” Wilbur held out his hand for Techno to take.

Techno grabbed Wilbur’s hand with his hoof, “I’m not ssorry for pusshin’ you off the bed, but I do acccept your apology.”

Wilbur shook his head in understanding. Honesty, he’d probably push himself off the bed if he was in Techno’s position so he understood why Techno wasn’t sorry. “Good, Good. Now let’s get dressed before Dad sends Tommy in here again.”

\---

“Dad?”

“...Yes, Wil?”

“Can you pleeeeaase tell us where we’re going? We’ve been walking for a while now.”

“I don’t have to tell you because we’re already here.” 

The group had stopped just outside the woods, in front of them was a big open field of flowers. In the middle of it stood a man wearing armor and a cape that made him appear royal. His back was turned to the family as they watched him from the trees.

Phil turned to the boys, “I want you boys to follow me, okay? Wilbur, keep Tommy from doing anything rash. Techno, you know the drill - Hood up, head down, hooves behind your back.”

Wilbur, already holding Tommy’s hand, spoke up, “Wait, what’s happening? Why are we going towards that man?”

Phil simply shushed the child and continued to approach the armored man. He stopped just a few steps short, the man still facing the opposite direction, and paused.

“...Sparklez?”

The man - Sparklez - partially turned around, only facing Phil halfway.

“Philza? Is that really you, man?” He completely turned to face Phil, looking the other man up and down, not noticing the children hiding behind his legs. “You haven’t changed a bit, have you?”

Phil chuckled, “I suppose I do look the same don’t I?” He waved his hand, gesturing towards Sparklez. “YOU have certainly changed though, haven’t you? You leave for a few years and come back wearing a full suit of armor with a captain’s cape on your shoulders.”

Phil smiled fondly, “Although, it looks like you kept your sunglasses, didn’t you?”

Sparklez adjusted the red framed sunglasses, “Of course. I wouldn’t be ‘Sparklez’ without them.” He brought his hands back down and brought them behind his back, his face turning a bit more serious, “But I’m not here just to reminisce with you. I’m sure you read in my letter that I retired from the guard and plan on moving back?”

Phil’s face became concerned, “Yeah. What’s up with that? I thought your dream was to be a soldier in the guard?”

Sparklez looked sheepish, “Ah. Well-” “Captain!”

Sparklez was cut off by yelling coming from a nearby bush. Out of the bush came a young boy, around Tommy’s age, who ran up and grabbed onto Sparklez’ cape.

“Duckling! I thought I told you to wait!”

The boy didn’t respond and instead continued to tug on the cape. Sparklez sighed and looked back up at Phil. 

“Right, well.” He pointed at the child. “This is Tubbo and he’s the reason I decided to retire.”

Phil laughed, causing the boys hiding behind him to shuffle slightly before getting back into position. “You quit for one kid? I think I’ve definitely got you beat in that department.”

“What do you mea-”

Phil stepped to the side and revealed all three of his boys. Wilbur was in the middle with Tommy on one side and Techno on the other. Techno’s face was completely covered by his cloak, his features unidentifiable. 

“Let’s get introductions out of the way.” Phil turned towards the three boys. “Boys. This is Jordan and,” He pointed at the child by Sparklez’ leg. “This is Tubbo.”

He turned towards Sparklez’ “Jordan, Tubbo. These are my boys: Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy.”

Before anyone had time to say anything, Tommy tugged his hand out of Wilbur’s grip and ran forward towards Tubbo, he didn’t stop and knocked himself and Tubbo over.

“Hi! I’m Tommy!”

Tubbo, despite having just been trampled by Tommy, smiled from his spot on the ground. “Hi! I’m Tu-” Tubbo was interrupted by Tommy being forcefully lifted off of his chest.

Phil, holding Tommy by his shirt, frowned down at the boy, “Tommy… What have I told you about personal space?”

Tommy looked away from Phil, crossing his arms, and mumbled. Phil tugged on Tommy’s shirt, forcing the boy to look at him. “Say it louder.”

“RESPECT SPACE!” Tommy yelled at Phil. 

“Good.” He dropped Tommy back on the ground allowing the boy to go back over to Tubbo. The two boys engaged in surprisingly quiet conversation? Well, as close to conversation as two toddlers can have at least.

Wilbur, seizing his moment now that Tommy was quiet, introduced himself to Sparklez, “Hello, sir!” He said with a sickly sweet smile on his face, mischief in his eyes. “I’m Wilbur.”

Sparklez gave Wilbur a suspicious look, questioning the motives behind the boy’s tone, when he noticed that his sunglasses had gone missing. He brought a hand up to his face, frantically checking his body for them when he heard muffled giggling from Wilbur and Techno. Looking over at them once again, Sparklez noticed a flash of red get passed to Techno from Wilbur.

“Hey! Those are mine!”

Wilbur spun around to face Sparklez again, “What are you talking about? My hands are empty.” He held his dirt covered hands out, revealing that they contained nothing.

Sparklez, getting a little frustrated with the smart mouthed boy, refuted. “That’s because you handed them off to the hooded boy!”

Wilbur tilted his head, “Hooded boy? He has a name y’know.” He then shrugged, already bored of messing with Sparklez. “Alright, alright, fine. I’ll give them back.”

He reached a hand towards Techno, who carefully handed him Sparklez’ sunglasses. Wilbur tossed the sunglasses to Sparklez, not really caring what happened to them. Sparklez rushed forward and grabbed them, quickly putting them back onto his face.

The man turned towards Techno, “You’re Techno, right? Sorry, I forgot your name for a moment there.”

Techno nudged Wilbur, who nodded in understanding. “He forgives you.” He looked Sparklez up and down. “Besides, Dad seems to trust you, so you can’t be THAT bad.”

Techno nudged Wilbur again, causing the boy to turn around. “Oh, is your hood bothering your ears?” He reached his hands up, “Here, lemme get that for you.” He pulled down Techno’s hood, revealing the piglin boy’s face.

“...Thanks ‘Bur.”

A gasp sounded out, causing everyone to turn to source - Sparklez. The man’s eyes were wide open; he took a step backwards, stumbling slightly.

“H-He’s n-not-”

He was quickly cut off by a furious Wilbur. “I wouldn’t finish that sentence if I were you.” 

Phil placed a hand in front of Wilbur, who was standing defensively in front of Techno, and turned towards Sparklez.

“Now, Jordan, there's no need to sound so judgemental.”

Sparklez froze after hearing Phil call him by his real name, “I-I wasn’t trying to be rude, I-I’ve just had some... _bad_ experiences with _nether creatures_ during my time on the guard…”

Phil raised an eyebrow at the other man, “Well, that shouldn’t be a problem. Techno’s been living with me for quite some time now. I wouldn’t really consider him a ‘nether creature’ anymore.”

Techno cleared his throat and spoke up from his place behind Wilbur, “If it makess you feel better, sir, I don’t remember mucch about the nether. Mosst of my memoriess I have are from here.”

Sparklez appeared to visibly relax after hearing that, which made everyone relax from their defensive positions. He rubbed the back of his neck with one of his hands, looking ashamed.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed anything, especially since Techno’s still a kid.” 

“It’ss fine. I’m aware that mosst humanss are unccomfortable around me. Dad and ‘Bur are jusst weird.”

“Hey! Why didn’t you include Tommy?” Wilbur said as he turned to Techno, slightly insulted.

“Tommy’ss too young to know any better.”

Phil laughed at the two boys before turning towards Sparklez, the tense atmosphere gone as fast as it had appeared, “We should probably get going now. Y’know, to let you two have time to settle in at your new house?”

“Of course. see you soon?”

“Definitely.”

Phil looked over at where Tommy and Tubbo had last been seen, only to find nothing but a patch of grass. He frantically checked his surroundings looking for any sign of the two young boys, Sparklez mimicking his movements as well.

Wilbur tugged on Phil’s pants, getting the man’s attention. When Phil looked down at him, he pointed at a nearby tree, revealing the two young boys to be dangling from the branches.

“TOMMY!” “TUBBO!”

… Those two are going to be little troublemakers aren't they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bet you thought Tubbo was going to be adopted by Phil, didn't ya? You were wrong. 
> 
> I used to watch The Captain all the time when I was younger so I couldn't resist giving him a small role in my SBI family au (he probably won't show up much).
> 
> Also I'm sorry this took so long, I got distracted and wrote (and posted) a hybrid au oneshot instead.
> 
> \---
> 
> I'm just gonna list off a few extra notes that I have:
> 
>   * Phil's house is cold since its essentially a cabin in the woods. This is why Techno and Wilbur are cuddling 75% of the time. Gotta conserve heat. ~~They also just enjoy being near each other but shhh~~
>   * Wilbur and Techno's ""wars"" are just prank wars where they constantly find ways to annoy each other before they give up and decide to torment Phil instead. Sometimes they get Tommy to help them, too.
>   * Phil and Jordan used to be orphans who lived in the woods near the village. They took care of each other for most of their lives, but were separated when they were teens due to Jordan wanting to join the royal guard in the capital. They haven't seen each other since then, but occasionally they would send letters to each other. Not once in these letters did they mention their kids.
>   * The village gave Jordan the nickname 'Sparklez' due to the way the light would shine off his sunglasses all the time and they later nicknamed Phil 'Philza' for no reason other than giving him a name that was somewhat similar to Sparklez', since they were always together.
>   * The village leaders still call Phil 'Philza'. Although it is usually said with his village title. The village title is only added when he's being formally addressed. Ex: Fisherman Philza.
>   * Sparklez was eventually promoted to Captain of the royal guard. He retired quite young since he wanted Tubbo to have a more calm childhood.
>   * Sparklez being uneasy around Techno is mostly based off [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MslBhJBiMCU&ab_channel=Jumpsuiter) but in the au it's based off the fact that Sparklez went into the nether during his time on the guard and had a pretty bad experience with some piglin.
> 



	16. Late Halloween Chapter Whoops-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halloween, that's it.

Small feet thumped against the wooden floor as a young boy rounded a corner into a hallway. Behind him, a much larger man, holding onto a white sheet, could be seen chasing him, a frustrated look on his face. 

“Tommy get back here!”

“NO!”

From their bedroom, already dressed in their costumes, Wilbur and Techno could see their father chasing Tommy back and forth, up and down the hallway, as he tried to get the toddler to wear his Halloween costume.

Both boys were dressed as vampires, just like Phil, but Tommy had refused to participate in the costume coordination. This means that Tommy currently had no costume. This means that Tommy had to wear the _Sheet of Shame_.

Of course, it wasn’t really a shameful thing to wear, Techno has a sheet he has to wear over his vampire costume while outside, but Tommy had refused to be a vampire, therefore, he’ll be forced to wear the sheet. That did not mean he was going down without a fight, however. He’d managed to get Phil to chase him around the house for about thirty minutes now and if he kept going at that rate, they might be running around for the rest of the night.

“How long do you think Dad will let Tommy get away with thiss?”

Wilbur huffed, tired of waiting, “Hopefully not much longer, I’d like to actually go trick-or-treating tonight.”

Back out in the hallway, Phil slid around a corner, into the living room, expecting to find Tommy, only to be greeted by silence.

“Tommy?”

He glanced around the room, looking for any sign of the toddler, when he noticed a brief flash of blond behind the couch. Quietly, as to not give himself away, Phil slowly sneaked over. He slowly raised the sheet above his head… and swiftly brought it down, covering Tommy with the _shameful sheet_.

“AH! No! No!”

Phil laughed, “Gotcha.”

He picked up Tommy, making sure to hold the boy tight, and turned around. Standing there was Techno and Wilbur, the latter of which had an impatient look on his face.

“It’s about time you caught the gremlin. I almost thought we’d be stuck at home all night.”

“Aww, have a little faith, Wil. I can handle a toddl-”

Phil was cut off by Tommy slapping him in the face and a knock at their door. Readjusting his grip on Tommy (and making it so the boy couldn’t hit him in the face again), Phil began to approach the door.

“That must be Sparklez and Tubbo.” He glanced at a clock on the wall, “Right on time, too.”

Tommy, perking up from his spot in Phil’s arms, asked with a hopeful voice, “Tubbo?”

Not bothering to respond, Phil opened the door, revealing Sparklez, who had removed his usual armor in favor of a more casual outfit alongside a fake pair of wolf ears and a tail, and Tubbo, who was wearing a black and yellow striped shirt with a pair of overalls on top and an antenna headband.

“Tommy!” Yelled Tubbo from his spot by Sparklez’ legs. He made grabby hands towards the other boy.

Sparklez, taking note the Phil was unwilling to release the other toddler, picked up Tubbo and held him up to Tommy. “Here you go, Duckling.”

Now elevated at the same height, Tubbo reached forwards towards Tommy, who reciprocated the action to the best of his ability. 

Right when the two toddlers managed to make contact, Wilbur and Techno, who was now covered in a sheet too, appeared behind Phil, inpatient.

“Can we go already? I think we’ve waited long enough, right Techno?” Wilbur said as he crossed his arms, turning slightly towards Techno.

Techno’s sheet shuffled in a movement that looked vaguely like someone crossing their arms, “Yeah. I’m tired of waitin’.”

Phil, already starting to feel a little bit of regret, sighed. “Alright, alright. We can go now.” He turned to follow Sparklez out the door before he rapidly turned around and addressed Techno directly, remembering something last minute. “You’ve got your sword, right?”

Techno responded by lightly lifting his sheet, revealing the gold sword tightly strapped to his hip.

“Good. Hopefully you won’t need it, but the monsters tend to get a little brave on Halloween.” Phil said as he grabbed an iron sword that was laying by the door, for emergencies. A dark colored sword hanging from a sheath on Sparklez’ hip as well.

—-

Wilbur dragged Techno up to the front door of a house, Phil laughing in the background, and knocked. After a few seconds, the door opened and an older lady appeared, bowl of candy in hand.

“Trick or treat!” Yelled Wilbur, holding out his pillowcase. Techno mimicking him despite having not said anything.

The woman put on a face of over exaggerated surprise, laying her empty hand on her cheek. “Goodness, a vampire an’ ghost have shown up at my door! I guess I’ll have to give them some of my candy so they’ll spare me!”

She grabbed a couple of handfuls of candy and put some in each boy’s bag. “Happy Halloween, you two!” She said as she went back into her home.

Swiftly moving away from the house, Wilbur started to complain. “I hate it when they act like that. It’s so weird, like, just give me the candy already lady I don’t have time for this.” Techno nodded along, agreeing, it was really weird.

They returned to Phil, who was standing nearby waiting. “Looks like you two finished this section. Now, we’ve just got to wait for Tommy and Tubbo.” He said as he gestured in the direction of the house where Sparklez had taken the younger boys.

Wilbur groaned, “Why can’t we just split up? You could watch me and Techno. And Sparklez could take the other two.”

Phil chucked at Wilbur’s behavior. “I’ll have to ask him if he’s okay with doing that, those two can be quite the handful.”

\---

After a few hours of repeating their Halloween routine, Techno and Wilbur had managed to collect quite the bounty of candy and, having grown tired of listening to adults compliment their outfits, were now hanging out by the edge of the village, where the village ended and the forest began. Phil was still with them of course, but after a few minutes of begging, he’d allowed them (specifically Techno) to look around the forest edge for monsters to fight.

Wilbur wasn’t interested in fighting the monsters, but he’d never turn down a chance to see Techno in his element. Plus, Techno could easily protect him from anything they’d find anyway, what was there to fear?

Not long after that thought passed Wilbur’s mind, a zombie dropped dead in front of him.

“Nice.”

Techno proudly grunted in response to the praise - he prefered to not use words while fighting - and quickly moved towards a zombie hiding by a tree. 

To a bystander, this situation would look strange. One kid willingly fighting zombies in the dark while another kid and an adult watch nearby? Yeah, not a normal occurrence. That’s why Phil had brought them to an empty part of the village, the inhabitants all opting to partake in the festivities instead.

It also meant that Techno didn’t have to wear the sheet, which he very much appreciated since he hates having his ears covered for extended periods of time.

So, imagine the brief terror they felt when someone came running towards them.

Phil was the first to notice, having been keeping an eye on their surroundings, but was unable to tell who it was until the shadowy figure yelled, 

“Philza! Philza, man, I’m so sorry!”

The figure, now identified as Sparklez, nearly collapsed, his eyes full of panic: his voice slightly raspy. Phil rushed forward to catch him before he fell, holding him as he caught his breath.

“Calm down, Sparklez, breathe.”

Sparklez frantically shook his head, “No, no, I can’t… I-I-” His breathing became unsteady.

“Hey, keep breathing. You’re fine. You're okay.”

“I-It’s not me you should be worried about!” Sparklez snapped, “I-I…” He hesitated, “I lost the kids, Philza…” He ducked his head down in shame.

“WHAT!?” From behind the two men, stood Wilbur - his face contorted in a strange mixture of worry and anger.

Sparklez raised his hands in front of himself, defensively, “I looked away for one second and suddenly they disappeared. How was I supposed to stop that?!”

The three continued to argue while Techno yanked his sword out of a zombie’s body, blood just barely missing his clothes. He then stabbed it into the soft ground and walked over to a nearby bush. He put his hooves on his hips.

“I know you’re in there…” Techno mumbled to the bush.

The bush rustled before two familiar little boys popped out, mouths full of candy.

“Blade!” Tommy said with his still full mouth, a genuinely happy smile on his face - not aware of the panic they had caused. His ghost costume no longer draped over his head and instead tied around his shoulders like a cape.

Sighing, Techno reached forwards and dragged both boys out of the bush. He brought them over to the group, who were still arguing. He cleared his throat, getting the attention of the three. They all turned towards him and immediately noticed the two ‘missing’ boys.

“Iss thiss ‘hat you’re lookin’ for?”

Sparklez rushed forward, “Duckling!” He picked up Tubbo, hugging the boy closely to his chest. Tubbo smiled, not exactly sure what had caused the hug but still appreciating it, “Cap!”

The man pulled Tubbo back to look him in the eyes, “Don’t do that again! I was so worried!”

While those two reunited, Phil and WIlbur approached Techno and Tommy, Phil immediately picking up Tommy to keep the boy from disappearing again.

“How’d you find them so fast?” Phil asked, in awe.

Techno just shrugged, “It wass easssy. I’ve known they ‘ere hidin’ there for the lasst five? Ssix minutess? They’re not very quiet.”

“Wait, WHAT?” Wilbur pointed at Techno, accusingly, “You knew they were there this whole time?! HOW?!”

Techno stared at Wilbur, slightly disappointed, “I heard them, ‘Bur. Do you not read the books you bring home? There was this one called _‘Fifteen Interesting Facts About The Nether’_ that had a whole page that just talked about how far away a piglin can hear.” His face turned a little smug, “It’ss two miless by the way.”

Wilbur’s face scrunched up, “That must be horrible! How do you deal with constantly hearing stuff that far away?”

“It’ss sslecctive hearin’, I have to be foccussed to hear that far.” Techno said, rolling his eyes.

Now it was Phil’s turn to ask questions, “Why were you focusing your hearing on Tommy and Tubbo?” He asked, confused.

“Tommy likess to follow me outsside ‘hen you aren't lookin’. I guessss I’ve grown so ussed to lisstenin’ for him that I do it on insstincct now.”

“Wait… Tommy’s been going outside without permission? Why didn’t you tell me?” Phil said as he glanced at the toddler, whose mouth was still filled with various candies.

Techno simply brushed off Phil’s concern, “Don’t ‘orry, Dad, I’ve been watchin’ him. He jusst getss ccuriouss.”

Phil looked like he wanted to object, but quickly gave up, having grown tired of being outside in the dark all night. “Alright, well… I guess we should start heading home? It’s so dark I can hardly see anything.”

Everyone nodded, that was enough... _fun_... for one night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Semi-plot relevant piglin lore:**
> 
>   * Piglin have amazing hearing. They are able to tune into/out of certain noises, but tend to stay tuned in on each other. If a piglin got hurt and made a noise, at least a few piglins a mile a away would hear it perfectly, no matter the volume.
> 

> 
> \--
> 
> Uhh. I meant to finish this on Halloween, I swear!
> 
> Also, if you guys ever have an idea for a potential chapter, feel free to tell me! I can't guarentee that your idea will be used, but I'd love to hear them anyway! (I'll probably respond faster to tumblr asks tho)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Family Doesn't Stop At Blood [SBI family dynamic fic]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28020600) by [Fanfiction_Corner](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fanfiction_Corner/pseuds/Fanfiction_Corner)




End file.
